This is the slightly longer version with comments not found in today's print edition; thus, it is slightly more flawed.

Enjoy.

The Ball State Daily News - BEWILDERED SOCIETY: No need to fret over BSU's missing trees:

Ball State University might have seemed a little empty in recent weeks.

Because students returned shortly after (cue the music) Ice Storm 2005 hit, Ball State started loosing trees to the mulching pile.

Over the last few days, many students have noticed the abundance of empty grounds around campus. Many of them have even voiced complaints.

Well, I wood (hah!) like to you know there is a method to the madness.

Kevin Kenyon, associate vice president for facilities planning and management, said that more than 250 trees are going to have to be replaced over the next year or so, at a cost of roughly $500 a tree.

For those who think the cutting, pruning and mulching of trees is a small-time ordeal --- you're wrong.

It, frankly, is a science.

Kenyon attempted to put things in perspective. In talking to him, it's clear that, despite student pleas, this department has a firm grasp of what they're doing, especially when it comes to the future look of the campus.

Kenyon says his office's first priority the Thursday following the storm was cleaning up branches that put public safety at a risk.

"We were really concerned with broken branches," he said, referring to one of the few campus buildings with power at the time.

"It took us three weeks to get the debris cleaned up from the campus," Kenyon said. Most of the grounds crew work during snowstorms and similar situations, and thus were scheduled to be in during that time.

They were not, however, scheduled to be in during the weekends that followed, when they continued cleaning the debris up. That overtime is part of the roughly $100,000 Kenyon says the university had to spot to cover the extensive clean-up process.

Cleaning up includes not only picking up the obvious remnants but also working to return the campus to normal -- a task that Kenyon says was their first priority.

"They did a great job, they really worked hard," Kenyon says of the grounds staff, "I didn't hear one complain."

Kenyon says the university employs tree surgeons, who are advanced specialists able to identify problems, correct and, when possible, avoid them. Needless to say, they are still busy assessing the damage and could be for some time.

To get the campus back to normal, a lot of work had and still has to be done on the trees left standing. Many were damaged by the intensive stress the ice put on, breaking not only branches and the central crown of the tree but also the tree's taproot. Any combination of these problems gave good reason for the surgeons to say keep or cut.

Putting it into tasty perspective, a maple tree often resembles that of a lollipop from afar. The central crown is the same as the candy part of the lollipop, whereas the trunk is the paper stick. Naturally, when part of that candy breaks off, the lollipop is less appealing and ends up getting stuck to the bottom of someone's shoe.

Okay, so depending on what you're doing, the crown of the tree might not stick to the bottom of your shoe, but it is not healthy for tree to live in such a horrid state of existence.

"They'll never grow into a decent shape," Kenyon says. "We don't want that type of growth; it is not attractive and it is not sustainable."

So, what's a crying 4-year-old to do when his lollipop breaks?

Buy a new one to replace it, of course.

That's exactly what Kenyon says Ball State is doing, sans the crying and whining part.

"It gave us a hit," Kenyon says, "We're filing a claim with FEMA."

FEMA is the Federal Emergency Management Agency, who could help replenish the money BSU lost to the storm because President George W. Bush considered the region a disaster area.

Certainly, campus will be empty for a little while, but the steps being taken are necessary to keep the university looking better in the long run.

"We will be replanting the trees," Kenyon says, "When students come back as alums, they'll be able to see things as they were."

Students are encouraged to alert the university of concerns via the work services number (285-5081) or to contact Kevin Kenyon with questions at his office (285-8988).

Kenyon assures students that he doesn't mind hearing from them.

"That's why I'm here," he says.

You're on your own with the lollipops.

Thanks to Jamie Nicole for the suggestion last week, and for the BSU LiveJournal community for reaffiriming her concern. Hopefully this answers everybody's questions and concerns.

Yes, I agree: It still does look like shit, but that's the price we pay after a natural disaster. As Kenyon pointed out, it could have been much, much worse.

#posted by Dave 2:36:00 AM

 

Simple, Yet So Fun

WORDCOUNT / Tracking the Way We Use Language /

Just try it.

Bewildered, by the way, is the 10,500 most used word according to the aforementioned site.

#posted by Dave 2:08:00 AM

 

What a Hack

Paris Hilton's address book hacked?:

A spokesman for T-Mobile confirmed earlier reports that information from Paris Hilton's star-studded [cell phone] address book has been posted online.

Pitty.

Zidar said that since Sunday night a number of sites had posted Hilton's personal contacts, but the sites kept changing as the Secret Service, which Zidar said investigates computer crimes, shuts them down.

"As soon as one comes up the secret service is all over it," he said.

Is this really the best thing we have for our Secret Service to be doing?

Investigate how she got the damn numbers to begin with!

#posted by Dave 1:42:00 AM

 

Damn Kids

New York Post Online Edition: 'RING' WORM: VIRUS HITS PHONES:

Viruses are being spread by cellphone, and the most dangerous strain has started infecting America.

A version of Cabir - a worm that can destroy files, automatically ring up pricey 900 numbers and drain batteries - was discovered in two Nokia phones on display inside a Santa Monica, Calif., cellphone store last week.

Or, if your Paris Hilton's cell phone, you've already got those 900 numbers programmed in...

#posted by Dave 1:39:00 AM

 

'Journalism' loses a legend

CNN.com - Hunter S. Thompson dead at 67:

Journalist and author Hunter S. Thompson, who unleashed the concept of 'gonzo journalism' in books like 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,' fatally shot himself in the head Sunday at his home near Aspen, Colorado, police and his family said.

#posted by Dave 1:05:00 AM

Monday, February 21, 2005

 

You Are Made

Think your college housing sucks?

Think again.

Bob Jones University ~ Residence Hall Life Policies:

• A student must live in one of the University residence halls unless he is
  living with parents or other close relatives (approved by the Dean of Men's or
  Dean of Women's office), is 23 years old or older, is married and over the age
  of 20, or is a graduate student.



• For the sake of accountability, students must "check out" when they leave
  the campus. Students gradually acquire more freedom in this area as they
  become upperclassmen.



• Students are required to be in their own rooms and quiet at 11 pm. All
  lights must be out by midnight.



• Students are required to keep their rooms clean and neat. Rooms are
  inspected daily.



• An email account is provided for each student. Due to the flood of
  objectionable content coming through outside email services, students may use
  only this filtered campus email system.



• All wireless access to the Internet is forbidden since all Internet use
  must go through the University's filtered access.



• Posters of movie and music stars and fashion models are not permitted. The
  subjects of personal photos should exhibit the modesty and appropriate
  physical contact we expect from our students.



• Music must be compatible with the University's music standards:
  
  
  
  • New Age, jazz, rock, and country music is not permitted.
  
  
  • Contemporary Christian music is not permitted (e.g., Michael W. Smith,
    Stephen Curtis Chapman, WOW Worship, and so forth).
  
  
  
  


• Televisions and DVD/videocassette players are not permitted in the
  residence halls; computer DVD players may not be used to view movies.



• You may not possess or play computer and video games rated T, M, or A or
  having elements of blood and gore, sensual or demonic themes, or featuring
  suggestive dress, bad language, or rock music.



• Due to space considerations, appliances such as mini-refrigerators and
  microwaves are not permitted in residence hall rooms. A refrigerator for
  medical-related needs and microwaves are provided in each residence hall.



• Residence hall students may not watch videos above a G rating when
  visiting homes in town and may not attend movie theaters.

[Props to Willo for the find.]

#posted by Dave 2:31:00 AM

 

All That He Could Be

CNN.com | Five Marines suspended during drowning inquiry:

Five Marines have been suspended and another put on administrative duty during an investigation into the drowning of a recruit in a training pool at Parris Island, South Carolina, a Marine Corps spokesperson said Saturday.

Recruit Jason Tharp died February 8 from what the Marines described as "complications in the water," a day after a camera crew from WIS-TV in Columbia, South Carolina, shot video showing a drill instructor grabbing and striking him during a training session.

More graphic details have surfaced thanks to MSNBC.com:

An autopsy revealed 19-year-old Jason Tharp drowned during water survival training at the Marine Corps boot camp at Parris Island, S.C.

Video shot on Feb. 7, the day before Tharp's death, by NBC affiliate WIS-TV in Columbia, S.C., shows Tharp, visibly shaken and almost terrified, taking a forearm shot from a Marine drill instructor.

In the Marines only five weeks, Tharp had written seven letters home telling his family he wanted out. His father, John Tharp, claims Jason had been singled out by drill instructors because he couldn't keep up with the rigorous basic training.

Adding insult to injury...
The New York Times | 5 Units of Military Reserve Miss Recruiting Goals:

In a sign of continued stress on the armed forces from operations in Iraq, five of the six military reserve components have failed to meet their recruiting goals for the first four months of the current fiscal year, the military's top officer said on Wednesday.

The officer, Gen. Richard B. Myers, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, told the House Armed Services Committee that only the Marine Corps Reserve had achieved its recruiting quota through January.

General Myers said the Army Reserve and the National Guard had been particularly hard hit because the Army was retaining more soldiers on active duty instead of letting them retire and join the reserve.

As many commentators have pointed out over the days since this story broke, it's horrific to think that this young man was treated so horribly after joining the all-volunteer defense on his own.

Johnny Tharp says his son had good reason to enter the Marines, "He wanted to earn money for college and he didn't want to put the burden on us. That's the only reason. I didn't want him to go, but he had his mind made up." (WIS-TV)

#posted by Dave 2:27:00 AM

 

This is Pushing It

Newsday.com - City seeks to trademark new slogan:

Forget 'The Big Apple.' New York now wants to be known as "The World's Second Home."

The city has filed an application with the United States Patent and Trademark Office to trademark the slogan, "The World's Second Home," giving the city exclusive rights to use it to promote business and tourism in New York.

Your Second Home: Complete with terrorists, gangs, outlandish smells and Carson Daly!

*sigh*

#posted by Dave 2:09:00 AM

 

Women Go Ape-Sh*t

Reuters AlertNet - Women allege monkey business caring for gorilla:

Two women who helped care for a famous gorilla have sued the foundation nurturing Koko, saying they were fired for refusing to show the animal their breasts, lawyers said on Friday.

The lawsuit says the president of the Gorilla Foundation, Francine Patterson, sought to have the women bond with the gorilla by performing "bizarre sexual acts with Koko."

"Through sign language, as interpreted by Patterson, Koko 'demanded' plaintiffs remove their clothing and show Koko their breasts," the lawsuit said.

It's illegal through sign language?

Shit, I'm in trouble...

The Gorilla Foundation, south of San Francisco, maintains that Koko understands a sign language vocabulary of more than 1,000 words.

Apparently including "show," "me," "now" and "bitch."

#posted by Dave 2:00:00 AM

Sunday, February 20, 2005

 

Just Click It

The Big Shocker - The Original Foam Shocker Hand

I'll give you three guesses.

The Big Shocker Specs:

-Comically oversized.
-Not yet obscene to the general public.
-Makes a comfy and stylish seat cushion.
-Available in seven shocking colors.
-Great Mother's Day gift!
-Also, a great stocking stuffer.
-Safe for use at home, school and office.
-Made in America by Americans.

#posted by Dave 11:23:00 PM

 

U.S. IQ

The Globe and Mail: Bush names first U.S. national intelligence boss:

U.S. President George W. Bush named John Negroponte, the U.S. ambassador to Iraq, as the government's first national intelligence director Thursday, turning to a veteran diplomat to revive a spy community besieged by criticism after the Sept. 11 attacks.

Is it a good thing when our nation needs a title like "intelligence director?"

#posted by Dave 11:07:00 PM

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