Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Sleeping Turbulance
American Airlines pulls pillows in cost-cutting effort:American Airlines confirms that as of Feb. 15, it is pulling the pillows off most of its domestic routes other than the trans-continental flights and those to Hawaii. Flights to the Caribbean and Latin America will also go without the pillows. The planes will still have blankets available for customers.Blankets? You mean extra-strength napkins!
So, how much do a few pillows save?American first pulled the pillows on its MD-80 fleet in November, and saved $300,000 from that move. The expansion of the pillow cost-cutting should save another $375,000, according to American spokesman Tim Wagner. Even the first-class cabin on the shorter flights will go without pillows, Wagner said.Of course, the pillows were the second option after the airline realized it's "floatable" seat cushions would still be valuable in the event of an "emergency water landing."
As if you can land on water to begin with.
At an estimated cost of "a shitload of money," the airline is also looking into removing in-flight lavatories in exchange for "convenience packages," more commonly known as empty Pepsi bottles and a wet-nap in an individually sealed pouch.
Makes You Wanna 'Jump, Jump'
NewsNet5.com - 195-Pound Man Allegedly Jumps Into Crowd, Injuring 2 Women:CLEVELAND -- A man charged with injuring two women when he dived off the stage at a heavy metal concert said he never realized someone in the crowd could be hurt.He may float in water, but not in a sea of people.Witnesses told Seink's public defender, Walter Camino, that heavy metal shows are characterized by violent slam dancing. Occasionally, witnesses said, audience members dive off the stage, expecting the crowd to catch them.They're also usually aware of their weight in relation to those around them.
PSA: Windows Users Need Updates
www.smh.com.au | Microsoft releases eight security updates for Windows:Microsoft yesterday released eight security updates rated 'critical' for computers running the company's ubiquitous Windows operating systems and urged users to download and install them as soon as possible.
The 'critical' threat level is only given in response to vulnerabilities that would allow an outsider to gain control of another computer.
The vulnerabilities affect all computers running Windows and exploit known problems in Internet Explorer and Windows Media player as well as other flaws.
The batch of updates was the second largest released by Microsoft since it began issuing regular security updates two years ago. The updates are available at the website windowsupdate.microsoft.com.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
The Column: Censorship Touches Down at Bowl
The Ball State Daily News - BEWILDERED SOCIETY: Super Bowl's events show censorship:It has seemed impossible over the last week to read a newspaper or watch television without hearing something about Sunday night's Super Bowl.
Harder yet: trying to survive said media attention without hearing mention of Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake, MTV, CBS, NFL, CIA, CSI, the Federal Communications Commission, advertisements, beer, animals, porn, Condoleezza Rice and, of course, nipples.
Let me emphasize that there was absolutely no correlation between the final two phrases of that list. That said, all this Super-hype seemed to lead up to only one thing Sunday night.
A Super-letdown.
As television's most watched event, the Super Bowl has a lot of pressure running on it to perform well. This year, with unnecessary stresses and tension left by last year's FCC post-game fine-o-rama, the broadcast seemed to be an even bigger deal than it actually was.
In reality and when compared to bowls of the past, the event point-blank sucked. Ratings agreed: Nielsen Media Research said Monday that viewership for the game was down 2 percent from last year, and was the least watched of the Pats' three victories.
I wonder why.
Those watching the game itself were treated to the dynasty-making treat for the New England Patriots. Others interested in the marketing potential of the game were heavily disappointed by the missing necessities. Namely, that unique brand of football-related "dick and fart" jokes.
The prime time broadcast was plain, dull, ordinary and lacking in hearty laughs. It featured advertisements in between quarters of footballs and had a solid yet unentertaining half-time show.
It was, God-forbid, another friggin' football game. And, depending on how you look at it, that's not such a bad thing.
It goes without a doubt that the half-time show was watered down like a small dog humping a fire hydrant in the midst of a hot and humid July afternoon.
End mental image.
Sir Paul McCartney got out on the stage, did his number and just as quickly disappeared into the darkness of the smoke-filled night. The show was produced by Don Mischer of Academy Awards fame, according to the Chicago Tribune. McCartney worked with Mischer to put together the most family-friendly half-time show since U2's 2002 post-Sept. 11 tribute.
The lesson here: if you want family friendly, you better outsource.
As for the commercials, Fox reportedly rejected few ads, as the NFL and FCC had put forth other restrictions (both spoken and not) that frightened advertisers into what industry experts called a "more traditional" campaign. Advertisers had no choice: Either follow the new social norm or try and score some time on one of Fox's local affiliates.
In all honesty, the conservative ads might have gone over well with the family crowd but in that 18-24 male demographic?
Not so much.
The NFL and Fox Sports were so scared they couldn't see straight. In the wake of one of the FCC's most fined years ($7.7 million in fines for 2004), the NFL and Fox had both learned the hard way that "indecency," as defined by the FCC, would not be tolerated.
Therein lays the problem, too. The FCC, whose commissioner Michael Powell recently announced his departure, has been on an arguable "censorship" kick over the last 12 months. America has now reached a point, in all forms of media, where our freedom of expression is slowly being limited by the backhand of the federal government.
It started with Jackson's nipple but continued through the year with fines handed out to some of the nation's largest media organizations and personalities. A year later, instead of pushing the boundaries and standing up for our "self-evident" rights, the media as a whole is crawling back into a cave, fearful of the mighty claw that is the FCC.
It's pitiful, especially in this day and age of mega-media and mega-million conglomerates.
Aside from that fact, maybe all this disappointment tells us something about the Super Bowl.
It really isn't that "super," after all.
Monday, February 07, 2005
Soliders Gone Wild
Male soliders at Camp Bucca in southern Iraq were treated to a surprise last Oct. 30, when female comrades joined in a crazy match of American mud-wrestling.
Oh, yes, there are pictures:
New York Daily News - Home - Out of control at Camp Crazy!:In front of a cheering male audience, two young women wearing only bras and panties throw themselves into a mud-filled plastic kiddie pool and roll around in a wild wrestling match.Abu Ghraib move over! We got own own naky fun! Well, at least one of the women, and we use the term loosely, got out...
At one point a man in the audience raises a water bottle and douses the entwined pair.
At another, a "referee" moves in to break up the scantily clad grapplers.
A young blond lifts her T-shirt to expose her breasts. A brunette turns her back to the camera and exposes her thong undies.
The women are not coeds but military policewomen who had left their uniforms in a pile not far off.
The men are soldiers, too. Most of them wore T-shirts emblazoned with Army logos, but at least one was still wearing his uniform.
Some were sergeants, including the referee, and some allegedly were drunk.Deanna Allen, a 19-year-old prison guard with the 105th MP Battalion, smiled and lifted her T-shirt. Photos show a man standing close to her and leering at her breasts while another G.I. snaps pictures."Loose?" You got that right! Irrational? Noooo!
"From what I understand they dared her to do it," said Allen's grandmother, Luci Tomlin, in Black Mountain, N.C. "It was a loose moment. She is a strong-headed young lady. Sometimes she can be a little irrational."Allen, who is still stationed in Iraq, did not respond to E-mailed questions from The News. She was demoted in rank to private first class.Private somethin'...
Put It Out
Reuters | Cuba bans smoking in public:HAVANA - Cuba, which evokes images of cigar-chomping revolutionaries, has banned smoking in public places, an uphill struggle in a country synonymous with fine tobacco where more than half of adults smoke.Related News: Cubans smuggling tobacco, selves into America
Playstation3 On Its Way
New Scientist Breaking News - 'Supercomputer-on-a-chip' microprocessor revealed:In laboratory tests, the Cell chip reached a top 'clock speed' of 4GHz, which means it can perform more than four billion calculations per second. By comparison, the fastest Intel Pentium chip is currently capable of 3.8GHz.Suck that, XBox.
The microprocessor architecture - known as Cell - will appear in the Playstation3 games console, scheduled for release in 2006. But experts say it could ultimately find its way into many home entertainment devices, high-end computers and even supercomputers.
'Deep Throat' Going Down
The famed mystery source that leaked news of the Nixon / Watergate scandal, named "Deep Throat" after a porn running at the time, is rumored to be sick.
L.A. Times | Should We Jail Deep Throats ...:Bob Woodward, a reporter on the team that covered the Watergate story, has advised his executive editor at the Washington Post that Throat is ill. And Ben Bradlee, former executive editor of the Post and one of the few people to whom Woodward confided his source's identity, has publicly acknowledged that he has written Throat's obituary.The source that leaked this information to columnist and former White House counsel John W. Dean?
Unidentified.As a columnist, occasional freelancer and author of six nonfiction books, I use unidentified sources myself. In fact, I just used one. The source who informed me that Woodward leaked the news of Throat's illness to the executive editor of the Post gave me that information either on "deep background" or "off the record" (I never could get the distinction of those rules straightened out). So I apologize to my source if this information was never meant to be public, but it is a tidbit too hot to keep sitting on.
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Super Bowl Update Final Score
Well, that's it.
The New England Patriots have defeated the Philadelphia Eagles in Super Bowl XXXIX by a score of 24-21. No nipple jokes here: this Super Bowl was dry as a bone when it comes to controversy.
Best Commercial award goes to AmeriQuest's "Fluffy Kitty," as everything else was so conservative it blatantly sucked ass.
So, now that that's over... bring on March Madness!
Super Bowl AD Update 1:25 in the 3rd
CareerBuilder.com's "Chimp" commercials fall short of anything hilarious. Chimps? Funny... but not that funny.
Anheuser-Bush's "Salute," featuring returning U.S. troops walking through an airport with applauding flyers in the background, was teased as a tear-jerker. It wasn't quite THAT touching, but it was an excellent idea and surely well-accepted by viewers. Not unlike what we've come to expect from A-B over the years.
Surely the highlight of the evening has been AmeriQuest's "Fluffy Kitty" spot, which seemed to go over incredibly well here in the newsroom in terms of laughs. The punch-line became predictable after the cat spilled the pot, but the actual image of the man holding a cat and a knife above a pile of red sauce was priceless and quite hilarious.
I'll forgive them for sponsoring a shitty half-time show.
MC Hammer in ANOTHER commerical? Let it die! Damn you Nationwide Insurance!
SBC's "Wonderful Tonight" cleverly played and even used great music. Subtle humor that works!
SCORE: PHI 14 NE 14
Super Bowl AD Update3:35 in the 3rd
CareerBuilder.com's "Chimp" commercials fall short of anything hilarious. Chimps? Funny... but not that funny.
Anheuser-Bush's "Salute," featuring returning U.S. troops walking through an airport with applauding flyers in the background, was teased as a tear-jerker. It wasn't quite THAT touching, but it was an excellent idea and surely well-accepted by viewers. Not unlike what we've come to expect from A-B over the years.
Surely the highlight of the evening has been AmeriQuest's "Fluffy Kitty" spot, which seemed to go over incredibly well here in the newsroom in terms of laughs. The punch-line became predictable after the cat spilled the pot, but the actual image of the man holding a cat and a knife above a pile of red sauce was priceless and quite hilarious.
I'll forgive them for sponsoring a shitty half-time show.
SCORE: PHI 14 NE 14
Super Bowl AD Update Half time
Why did we even bother?
Sir Paul did well, but not enough to hold my interest and withhold any crude commentary.
Still better than Timberlake, eh?
This just in...
Yahoo! Auctions | The Lincoln Fry
$525,000 for the Fry..
Sick fucks.
Super Bowl AD Update 9:00 in the 2nd
MBNA's "Rugby meets Rock" would have been much better suited with a different celebrity.
Lay's "Give it Back" good idea but poorly executed. We could have been hella meaner to M.C. Hammer, and done without the dancing interlude.
Subway's "I Need You Now" - Were we missing something, here?
PepsiCo is back with its iTunes "Free Song" promotion - and it's a hell of a lot better than last year's "I Fought the Law" anti-piracy bullshit.
Degree Men's "Momma's Boy" doll? Well, at least they were trying...
SCORE: PHI 7 NE 0
Super Bowl AD Update 1:28 in the 1st
Anheuser-Bush's continues on its series of commercials (The Wall Street Journal reports that they'll be having the most this evening) with Bud Light and "That's Yo Girlfriend." Certainly a clever ad as expected from A-B
McDonald's "Lincoln Fry:" Why'd they even try?
Visa's "Lost Your Checkcard" involved some washed-up superheroes, it's barely worth mentioning here except for the fact that Visa surely paid out the ass for the rights to use the characters.
Ameriquest's "Your Getting Robbed" entertained subtle laughter.
Quiznos' "Talking Baby" has been running for days now on news networks. I think the baby's actually kind of ugly. Way too much "Conan-style" mouth-faking for me.
Super Bowl AD Update 6:02 in the 1st
Diet Pepsi's "Pimp My Truck" was a clever rip of UPS' old school "People Love the Truck" advertisement from years ago, only this time around PepsiCo invested a little bit more into the advertisement instead of using, err... stock vehicles? P. Diddy and Carson Daily: sure to win the young crowd. Diet Pepsi? Not so much.
Fed Ex / Kinko's "10 Key Steps" Was a good attempt at straying from the norm, but failed short at a hearty punch-line. Besides, is Burt Renyolds really that cool anymore?
GoDaddy.com's "I Wanna Be in a Commercial" seems to be the only ad pushing buttons, or should we say removing them, at this point in the game. I'll be waiting to check out their Web site a little later.
Way later.
Super Bowl Update Slow Start
So, we're just 20 minutes into the broadcast and already I think it may be safe to say:
Tonight's commercials will suck.
As for the game?
Eh - still not giving a shit.
©2003-2007 David Studinski/Bewildered Society, unless otherwise noted.