Saturday, January 29, 2005

 
Old News You Haven't Heard

CNN.com - Passengers subdue man on Southwest flight:

MIAMI, Florida (CNN) -- Passengers aboard a Southwest Airlines flight helped wrestle a fellow passenger to the floor Tuesday night after he tried to force his way into the cockpit, law enforcement officials said. The incident happened aboard Flight 2161, which was traveling from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, to West Palm Beach, Florida.

Christopher Egyed, 37, exchanged punches with a flight attendant before passengers joined the scuffle and subdued him, authorities said.

"They used duct tape to tie him up," FBI spokeswoman Judy Orijuela said.
God Bless America...




 
Buh-Bye

Journal Gazette | So long, Sosa: Cubs near deal:

NEW YORK - The Chicago Cubs were close to agreement on a trade to send unhappy slugger Sammy Sosa to the Baltimore Orioles, several high-ranking baseball officials told The Associated Press.

As late as Friday afternoon, the Cubs also were talking to the Washington Nationals about a deal to send Sosa to the new team in the nation’s capital.

The Cubs have been looking for a taker for Sosa since the end of the season, when he skipped out on the finale at Wrigley Field. Sosa initially claimed he didn’t leave until the seventh inning, but the Cubs produced videotapes showing him leaving shortly after the game began and fined him $87,500.
If I were sucking that bad, I would have left, too.






Friday, January 28, 2005

 
'There's a Cloud...'

The New York Times > Health > The Fit Tend to Fidget, and Biology May Be Why, a Study Says:

Overweight people have a tendency to sit, while lean ones have trouble holding still and spend two hours more a day on their feet, pacing around and fidgeting, researchers are reporting in findings published today.
Finally - I have an excuse!

ADD = Weight Loss!






Wednesday, January 26, 2005

 
'Bloodiest Day' for U.S. Troops

Reuters.com | 36 U.S. Troops Die in Iraq in Their Bloodiest Day:
BAGHDAD (Reuters) - Thirty-one U.S. troops were reported killed in a helicopter crash and five more died in insurgent attacks Wednesday in the deadliest day for American forces since they invaded Iraq 22 months ago.

CNN, quoting the U.S. military, reported that 31 Marines died when their transport helicopter went down in the deserts of the restive Anbar province of western Iraq.
God Bless 'em.

Oh, and in related news...
SFGate.com | Bush adds $80 billion to wars' costs / Afghanistan, Iraq tally would pass $300 billion if OKd:
Washington -- The White House said Tuesday that President Bush will ask Congress for another $80 billion to pay for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, an appropriation that would bring the total spent for the two wars to more than $300 billion.






Tuesday, January 25, 2005

 
This is sick

eBay item 4352702446 (Ends Feb-22-05 14:54:21 PST) - Johnny Carson childhood home not superbowl super bowl:

Johnny Carson's childhood home is for sale on eBay!

This once in a lifetime opportunity to own a piece of history from television's greatest icon could be yours. This property located in Norfolk, Nebraska, is for sale.

We are starting bidding @ $93,500 and reserve the right to end this auction early with satisfactory purchase agreement.
This seller needs to die a slow and horrible death for attempting to cash in on such a wonderful man's death.






Monday, January 24, 2005

 
O Sht!

CNN.com - R 2 many txt msgs bad 4 U? - Jan 24, 2005:

ROME, Italy (Reuters) -- Excessive text messaging may be bad for you, or at least for your fingers.

That's what some Italian doctors think. They are telling people, particularly the young, that furious typing on mobile phones could lead to acute tendonitis.
Prove it, bitches.
According to a recent study conducted for children's rights group Telefono Azzurro, some 37 percent of Italian children are "cell phone addicts." Irritability and mood swings were other symptoms linked to very frequent cell phone use among the young.
Oh -- well, let's just neglect the whole side-effect of over-budget calling plans!

Irritability?

I'm going to go lay down.

[Props to Will Vragovic for the health notice.]




 
'DooDoo Head!'

TheIndyChannel.com - News - Conservatives Criticize National 'No Name-Calling' Week:

NEW YORK -- Middle schools across the United States will observe 'No Name-Calling Week' starting Monday.

The program, now in its second year, takes aim at insults of all kinds, whether they are based on a child's appearance, background or behavior.
Riiiiiight.... This implying that the other 51 weeks of the year it is perfectly acceptable to call someone a "fat head."

Where'd this one come from?

"No Name-Calling Week" was developed by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, which is seeking to ensure that schools safely accommodate students of all sexual orientations.
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network?

Isn't that called our fucking public school system?




 
Everybody Poops


News.com.au | Finally - toilet-trained elephants (20-01-2005):

MEET Diew the elephant - the world's first potty-trained pachyderm.

Visitors to a Thai elephant camp were treated to a call of nature with a difference yesterday, as five-year-old Diew demonstrated how to use and flush an oversized toilet
.
How many flushes do you think that takes, anyway?




 
Smile! Today Sucks Ass!

MSNBC - Jan. 24 called worst day of the year:

After all, it's Jan. 24, the "most depressing day of the year," according to a U.K. psychologist.

Dr. Cliff Arnall, who specializes in seasonal disorders at the University of Cardiff, Wales, created a formula that takes into account numerous feelings to devise peoples' lowest point.

The model is:
[W + (D-d)] x TQ
M x NA
I wonder about alcohol sales...

[Props to Ryan Miller for the link.]




 
We're Still Tryin'...

USATODAY.com - Looking for signs of intelligent life in Fort Wayne

This heartland city of 255,000 has been dubbed the dumbest town in all the land by Men's Health magazine. It came in dead last, losing out at the bottom of the heap to the likes of Laredo, Texas.
Hmm... No comment.

Smartest and dumbest cities, according to Men's
Health
:


Smartest

1. Minneapolis

2. Boston

3. Denver

4. St. Paul

5. Seattle


Dumbest

1. Fort Wayne, Ind.

2. Corpus Christi, Texas

3. Laredo, Texas

4. Las Vegas

5. Newark


Men's Health magazine says its criteria included:

• Bachelor's degrees per capita

• Residents' SAT scores

• State creativity scores (patents per capita, for instance) as assessed by
Catalytix and the Richard Florida Creativity Group

• Number of universities

• Number of Nobel Prize winners for physics and medicine born within city limits


NOTE: Not all criteria are weighted equally

 






 
In Tribute...


MSNBC.com | Late-night king Johnny Carson dies at 79:

Johnny Carson, 79, whose topical monologues and outlandish comedy made him the foremost figure of late-night entertainment for three decades, died Sunday. NBC, which produced "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson," said Carson died of emphysema at his home in Malibu, Calif.


from The Ball State Daily News:
OUR VIEW: Late-night loses a star:
Johnny Carson, the famed NBC "Tonight Show" host of almost 30 years, died Sunday. His death was the top story of news broadcasts for most, if not all, of Sunday afternoon.

Citing the date of his retirement (many of us were still in elementary school), some may argue how much his death actually affects this generation.

"More than you think," we respond.

It is likely that few, if any, of us knew Carson's work personally; even then, how many people in this youthful, college crowd could recall a "favorite" moment they saw on Carson's show?

Not many, we bet. Carson passed off the "Tonight Show" laugh-master duties to current host Jay Leno in the spring of 1992. To put things in perspective, at the time "Seinfeld" was nearing the end its third season, airing the now well-known episode "The PEZ Dispenser." (Many fans may recall the episode, but probably because of the show's now widespread syndication.)

We might not be able to recall any personal memories of Carson's stint, but his effect on late-night can still be felt to this day. As for Carson the man: we were not alone in our oblivion.

In actuality, few people knew Carson well. He was known as a good man who led a private life. Joan Rivers, who often filled in for Carson, told CNN that, "Nobody got to know him ... He was very private."

Rivers, much like Jerry Seinfeld and others, got her career break from Carson during his run on "Tonight." Many others, including Leno, Ball State alumnus and CBS "Late Night" host David Letterman, Robin Williams and George Carlin, got their big breaks while Carson was at the helm, according to Reuters.

Had it not been for his treasured wave over to the guest couch, many of us may be sans a lot of laughs from these entertainers today.

Although Carson has been in mild seclusion since his retirement, making just a handful of public appearances, his jokes were still making their way to late-night viewers up until his death, we learned just last week. Reuters reported that Carson still occasionally sent jokes to Letterman for a creative outlet. Every now and then, CBS' vice president Peter Lassally said, Letterman managed to weave them into his monologue.

"It is a sad day for his family and for the country," Letterman said in a statement to CNN on Sunday. "He was the best -- a star and a gentleman."

We may not remember Johnny Carson well, but his work and subsequent effects on late-night television will forever be remembered. Carson did not affect on our generation directly; yet, if it were not for him, many of the stand-up comics and actors whom this generation has grown to love would not exist in the entity they do today. Carson has always had modern late-night television and comedy's debt and gratitude; he deserved it.

And for that, we bid him a "very heartfelt farewell."






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