Thursday, October 14, 2004

 
Told Ya It Could Happen

CNN.com - Study: One in 100 adults asexual - Oct 14, 2004:

About one percent of adults have absolutely no interest in sex, according to a new study, and that distinction is becoming one of pride among many asexuals.
Time for some bandwagon jumping!

"If asexuality is indeed a form of sexual orientation, perhaps it will not be long before the issue of 'A' pride starts attracting more attention," New Scientist says.
Yup - everything's "A"-Okay!




 
Why?

No, for those of you who are wondering: I don't have a "Xanga" or a "LiveJournal."

In fact, for clarification purposes: those are proper names, not a noun you can own. That said, you can't have nor get a new "xanga" or even a "LiveJournal"... but you can have a blog!

Oohhh! Lookie! That's what I've had all this time, bitches: a blog!

Instead of using it as my personal stomping and pouting ground ('cause like you really give a sh*t what I did today), I decide to inform the masses with my humor, sarcasm and personal mix of crazy news and such.

It's a blog, minus the emotion.

Damn - too bad life isn't like that sometimes.

So, there: This is my "Xanga," this is my "LJ" and I've been doing it longer than any of you! In fact, say hello to BewilderedSociety Online's 1,179th post!

Cool? You betcha.

And while I bask in my glory, I'll pretend I didn't just hear you say "you suck!"

Okay I'm done. :)






Tuesday, October 12, 2004

 
The Column: A familiar, yet poetic tribute to Homecoming

The Ball State Daily News - BEWILDERED SOCIETY: A familiar, yet poetic tribute to Homecoming

In honor of the spirit which made Homecoming 2004 a success, I've taken from a classic tale by, depending on who you ask, Clement Clarke Moore or Henry Livingston Jr. Allow me to step back, and tell you about my weekend.

'Twas the morning of Homecoming, when all through the school, there were students and alumni all shootin' it cool.

The "Welcome Back" signs were hung by the bars with care, in hopes that the alums would soon blow their savings there.

The freshmen were nestled all snug in the beds, while visions of a house party on Marsh St. remained in their heads.

I in my PJ's, and my roommates gone home, had just gone back to sleep following a night's rest all alone.

When down in the village I heard whistles and bells, I sat back up yelling, "What in the hell?"

I tripped over to my window, groggy as ever; I pushed away the blinds, to remember what follows for now and forever.

The sun off the pavement and the surrounding ground, helped me to see the ruckus that was causing the sound.

When what to my half-opened eyes appeared for long? My neighbors, their friends and an early morning game of screwdriver pong.

With some cups, a table and an unmistakable date, I knew at that moment, "This is Ball State."

My eyes turned away, as I stood taller on my feet, more families and alumni were filling the street.

"The bands, the floats, the emergency vehicles and all!" I stopped to think to myself, "A parade is forming; looks like I'm waiting to hit the mall."

To the porch I went, opposite my bedroom wall; I needed to take it in, once and for all.

As the leaves fell before the crisp autumn air, the week's activities had suddenly made students care.

Over the past week, the students had joined in on the fun, we'd put down our defenses and the jokes about the UPD having guns.

We'd joined in the opening day, and the AirJam, too. Some students attended not just one event, but two!

We joined together as a campus of one, we laughed and cheered and even helped in welcoming back the alums.

Our school has been through some troubled times to say the least, and for us to come together is quite the accomplished feat.

We got along and watched our team play ball. Many enjoyed the game, despite our horrid record this fall.

But it's not about the records, the wins or the losses; nor does it matter the yards or the tosses.

It's about joining together, in spirit and in person; to help make our university a better place, rather than let its condition worsen.

We did a good job, and we should not let our pride fade, otherwise we're just a bunch of pathetic slackers, waiting to be "made."

I walked back inside, with a smile on my face; I was happy to be home, as was my neighbor: he'd just brought back a case.

But I heard him exclaim, as he stumbled out of sight, "It's a Homecoming for the ages... I just hope I make it 'til tonight."




 
Swallow It Whole

Yahoo! News - Singapore's 'Burger King' nearly chokes on world record:

A Singaporean man broke the world record for stuffing the most hamburgers into his mouth at one time as part of a weekend competition to break 10 obscure Guinness World Records, press reports said.

Don Ezra Nicholas, 19, packed in three 'and a bit' McDonalds hamburgers, or 369 grams (13 ounces) of burger, into his mouth without swallowing, the Straits Times said.
Notice that "burger" and "crap" can be used interchangeably in the above sentences.






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