Friday, October 01, 2004
The Column
The Ball State Daily News - BEWILDERED SOCIETY: Debate rules similar to school boy fight
Green light. Red light. Orange-ish, kind-of-yellow-but-not-really light.
Remind you of an elementary school game? How about a presidential debate?
Last night, I sat astounded in my living room chair as I watched John Kerry and President George W. Bush participate in their first debate of the 2004 campaign. All I needed was some apple juice, graham crackers and maybe some peanut-butter filled celery.
Not to mention a nap.
The debate, the first of many between now and Election Day, was governed by an unprecedented amount of rules, regulations and responses to political temper-tantrums. The 32-page agreement, signed by representatives from both campaigns, was soon dubbed, "The Bible."
It was, frankly, full of immature, sophomoric kiddie crap.
Debates like this become nothing more then elementary school fight situations where little George, mad at his friend Johnny, will only speak to Johnny through mediator Jimmy... and vice-versa.
That may be how American politics currently operate, but it is not how they should.
Under the guidance of the Commission on Presidential Debates, the campaigns were so insistent on having a fair and balanced situation that they created rules that, inadvertently, censored themselves.
And, if you were bored with last night's debate, buckle in because you are in for a long haul. Let's review, shall we?
Starting with comfort issues, lights on the podiums were installed to alert the candidates of the remaining time left for their argument. Although this was actually one of the brighter ideas of the entire "Memorandum of Understanding," it was debated by Kerry even in the hours prior to the debate.
Apparently he's distracted by shiny, blinking objects.
Meanwhile, those very podiums, exactly 10 feet apart (left-right center), were "equally canted" toward the center of the stage at a degree that was determined by the Commission. The backdrop behind the candidates was ordered to be exactly the same, the color and style of which was recommended at least 72 hours in advance of the debate.
And here I thought we had a chance of a really trippin' communist theme.
Pens, papers and notes were also predetermined as per the agreement: down to the type, size and quantity of each. So, just in case the ruler of our free world uses mechanical pencils, we now have an official record of it.
No word yet on the lead preference.
The candidates were not allowed to ask each other questions, let alone attempt to try and communicate. However, rhetorical questions were allowed.
Boy, were they.
Looking through the document, I swear I saw something about the moderator having the ability to put either candidate in "time out" or, ultimately, send them to "their room" without dinner. It's exactly what we need: a full-fledged, hardcore face-to-face meeting between the two men who are telling us they can run our country and, arguably, the entire free world.
Because if they (or their campaign advisors) think they have what it takes, why are they so afraid of discussing it with each other?
And I'm sorry to say the rules mentioned above are just the tip of the iceberg.
You should see the Oct. 8 debate amendments. I'd love to tell you about them, but my little red light is blinking.
See the Rules here.
Monday, September 27, 2004
News Alert: Leno to Retire from 'Tonight Show' in 2009
Leno to Retire from 'Tonight Show' in 2009 | Reuters.com:
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Jay Leno, America's leading late-night comedian as host of NBC's 'The Tonight Show,' will retire at the end of his current five-year contract in 2009 and be replaced by Conan O'Brien, the network said on Monday.Conan's replacement will be decided at a later time.
Hmm: I'll be out of school by then ...
Loads, err .. Shots Fired!
Houston's ABC13.com: Exotic dancer shot after argument with club customer:
An exotic dancer was shot Saturday morning at a northeast Harris County strip club.Talk about worker's comp.
Investigators say a customer owed a female dancer about $500 at the Saint James Cabaret on Rankin and Imperial. He tried paying with a credit card, which wasn't approved.
Officers say the two got into an argument, then he pushed her down and pulled out a gun. Four shots were fired and one hit the dancer in the arm and the chest.
Presidential Words
Over 40 years and millions of words in presidential debates, certain quotes remain in the memory. Here are some famous quotes from past presidential and vice presidential debates:
REUTERS | FACTBOX-Quotes from Past U.S. Presidential Debates:
"We all make mistakes. I've been known to mangle a syllable or two myself."
- Republican George W. Bush in 2000, purposely mispronouncing the word "syllable."
Arrrr ...
STUFF : ODDSTUFF - STORY : New Zealand's leading news and information website:
A man who believed he was a pirate at sea when he was actually a prisoner in the Dunedin police cells has been admitted to Dunedin Hospital after his drug-induced pyschosis failed to wear off.Don't laugh....
The man was found naked on the roof of a South Dunedin building at 10am on Sunday and taken to the Dunedin Police Station. Okay, now laugh.
Stop, Drop and Roll
The Seattle Times: Local News: Redmond woman, 69, dies after robe set on fire:
A 69-year old woman died yesterday morning after apparently accidentally setting her bathrobe on fire at her home in the 2600 block of 181st Ave. N.E.Speculate... or elaborate?
Firefighters would not speculate on how the woman set herself on fire.
Screw the rest of the story
Journal Gazette | 09/20/2004 | Man tries to abduct hospital patient, 19
A 19-year-old patient at Parkview’s New Life Center was smoking a cigarette outside the hospital entrance when a man drove up to where she was standing shortly before 2 a.m.,...Alright the rest of story doesn't matter.
She's 19, a patient and was smoking... OUTSIDE OF A NEW LIFE CENTER.
©2003-2007 David Studinski/Bewildered Society, unless otherwise noted.