Saturday, August 28, 2004
You Know Your Capital Sucks When...
ABC 7 News - D.C. Gets Its First Krispy Kreme Shop:
The nation's capital became the latest to join the craze Tuesday, when the city's first Krispy Kreme shop opened. About 150 people waited in line outside the store in Dupont Circle - some for as long as 13 hours - to get their hands on the goodies. They were rewarded when workers gave out trays of doughnuts to the crowd shortly before 6 a.m.The shop also helped usher in a new variety of the famous doughnut line, cleverly named "Anthrax-powdered."
More logic from the Capital:The doughnuts at the D.C. shop are cooked in Alexandria, but glazed on location, Auld said.Or you could just open up a full damn store!
"Our doughnuts are never more than eight hours old," he said. "If we have to drive the truck four times a day to get them here, we will."
This Spells Trouble
IPD to arm officers with M-16s:
Longer-range rifles that the Indianapolis Police Department has had in storage since last year will be in officers' hands possibly by November, department officials said Thursday."Coming soon to Muncie..."
Only in Minnesoooooooota
Large Fish Catches Boy in Minnesota | theledger.com:
An 11-year-old boy was out hunting frogs on Island Lake when he became the prey. A large fish, probably a muskellunge or a northern pike, attacked the boy about 5 p.m. Thursday as he and his young sister were wading in a foot of water.Are we sure this was in Minnesota?
Mason's father, Richard DeRosier, was in a paddle boat just offshore during the attack. DeRosier, a Lake County deputy sheriff, said he was facing the children when he saw a huge swirl in the water.Nevermind.
"Before I can say 'Holy moley! Look at that!', all of a sudden the swirl is by their feet," he said.
Wait - This Isn't in America?
iWon - News:
JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - A South African man who shot his pregnant fiancée dead before killing himself will be posthumously married to her at the weekend.Wha?
The groom's corpse would be dressed in a cream suit and his bride's in a gown for the ceremony, at which a priest in the rural village of Ceres in Limpopo will bless the union before the two are buried, the Sowetan said.Now if he shot his wife-to-be, do you really think he wanted to actually be her husband? Explanation please...
'In African culture, there is no death -- there is merely the separation of body and soul,' said cultural expert Mathole Motshekga. 'It is also important because the families are married together.'Talk about a weak honeymoon.
'This does not mean the relationship has irretrievably broken down.' "
Just a Little Obvious
WPXI.com - News - NYC Endures Bomb Threat, Protesters:
Two men arrested in New York are accused of trying to blow up a subway station and possibly other locations around the city.Ya think?
Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said that while they're not linked to al-Qaida or any terrorist group, they both expressed hatred for America.
Friday, August 27, 2004
Not Toying Around
USATODAY.com - Company pulls candy bags with toy depicting 9/11 attack
MIAMI (AP) — Small toys showing an airplane flying into the World Trade Center were packed inside more than 14,000 bags of candy and sent to small groceries around the country before being recalled.As an update:
The candy distributor says the toys were part of a bulk shipment of imported toys that were purchased sight-unseen and they have all been recalled.They damn well better be imports.
The distributor said who made them remains unclear.
Thursday, August 26, 2004
Don't Even Ask About the Dental Problems
Researchers link soft drinks to diabetes / Drinking a soda a day led to weight gain in medical school study of 90,000 women:
The study of more than 90,000 women also suggests that increased consumption of sodas and other sugary drinks may significantly increase the chance of getting adult-onset diabetes, according to the study published Wednesday in the Journal of the American Medical Association.Great - here we go again trying to squeeze out even more ingredients from soda.
Introducing Coca-Cola Nil: All of the taste in one, small, bite-size capsule.
'I Did It....'
Guardian Unlimited | The Guardian | Rock band's effluent offence:
One of America's most popular live rock outfits, the Dave Matthews Band, was facing a hefty fine after state prosecutors in Illinois alleged that a band tour bus had deposited 800lb of human waste on 100 boat passengers taking an architectural tour of the Chicago river.$70,000, or roughly 10 front row seats to any of his shows.
The state of Illinois is suing the band for $70,000 in damages, claiming it violated state water pollution laws. The band denies its driver was involved.
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Financial Omen?
Winnipeg Sun: NEWS - Freak accident injures granny:
The family of an 80-year-old Somerset grandmother struck by a 1,000-pound sign that fell from her local bank were holding vigil at Health Sciences Centre yesterday. Described as an active senior who took pride in her independence, Lucienne Labossiere was in critical condition last night.Ya know, if I was this family, right about now's the time I'd be thinking about reassessing those assets and stocks...
Incredible Hulk Found on NW 6th Avenue
Local10.com - News - Police: Man Heaves Rocks At Firefighters, Pulls Machetes On Cops:
MIAMI -- A homeowner flung tiles, dumbbells and more at firefighters today, then pulled two machetes on police officers dispatched to deal with the situation, police say.Let's hear an actual account from one of the brave men and women who serve on the Miami F.D.
Investigators said it happened this morning on Northwest 6th Avenue and 2nd Street after firefighters responded to a house fire call. When the fire engine pulled up, the suspect, Hector Reigada, drove his car directly in front of it, then jumped out and started throwing things, police say.
"He threw everything at us," said Lt. Bill Schwartz. "He threw rocks. He picked up floor tiles and threw them like Frisbees at us. He grabbed dumbbells and threw those at us. He grabbed two machetes, starts swinging them at us and actually threw one like a Bowie knife."That was your first hint to walk away.
Not A Time for Trial & Error
Yahoo! News - Man on Quest for Knife-Proof Body Bleeds to Death:
DAR ES SALAAM - A Tanzanian who went to a witch doctor in search of the power to resist bullets and knife attacks died when ritual cuts made on his body proved fatal.Authorities say the man was found dead with a small cut on his left index finger believed to be caused by a piece of paper.
Monday, August 23, 2004
Who in the Hell Approved This One?
AP Wire | 08/22/2004 | Jane Pauley Set for New Daytime Talk Show:
No one's delivered a couch yet, but Jane Pauley is giving a tour of the Rockefeller Center studio where her new daytime talk show will start next Monday. The audience seats are arranged in a semicircle for a feeling of intimacy.Intimacy which many people hope they never have with Jane Pauley.
Learning is Expensive
News Sentinel | 08/21/2004 | Education Expenses:
According to a survey by the National Retail Federation, families with school-aged children will spend an average of $483 on back-to-school items, up 7.2 percent from last year. The federation's '2004 Back-to-School Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey,' released last month, found parents will spend $14.79 billion sending elementary through high school students back to school this year.Damn you overpriced Crayola markers...
Fun No Longer Allowed
sacbee.com -- News -- Recess gets regulated:
Games where kids chase each other - tag or even cops and robbers - are generally banned in Natomas Unified's elementary schools. No grabbing or pushing is allowed.Farther North, sand has been removed from the sandboxes of nearly 200 elementary schools in an effort to control "the dirt under their cute little pudgy fingers."
At Natomas Park, students can only toss and catch a football - tackling or blocking isn't permitted. But the no-contact rule applies beyond the grade-school gridiron.
During lunch recess one recent afternoon, yard supervisor Janice Hudson spotted a first-grader pushing a girl on the swing.
'Do not push,' Hudson told the student. 'Let her push herself, please.'
'One person can be a little stronger than the other,' she said as she walked away."
Talk About Timing
WPVI.com%3A%20Out%20of%20Control%20Ferris%20Wheel
A Ferris wheel at an Ulster County fire department fund-raiser spun out of control after a cable snapped, coming to a halt only after nearly two dozen firefighters at the fair grabbed the wheel and brought it under control, police said.Imagine what they could have done with a Tilt-o-Whirl, folks.
You Are Sexy... Maybe
CNN.com%20-%20Researcher%3A%20Your%20name%20key%20to%20sexiness%20-%20Aug%2011%2C%202004
Scientists say the right name can make you sexier.Odd, usually women don't like it from the back.
Men with "front vowels" in their names -- sounds formed at the front of the mouth like the "a" in Matt -- were considered sexier than men with "back vowel" sounds like the "au" in Paul, she concluded.
The opposite held for women, who were sexier with back vowels than front ones.
[Props to Matt (ironic?) Duncan for the submission.]
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Starting Out on a Buzz(ed) Note
CNN.com - Beer Bear
A black bear was found passed out at a campground in Washington state recently after guzzling down three dozen cans of a local beer, a campground worker said on Wednesday."With an intoxicated animal up to 8 times your body weight, your night just got more interesting."
©2003-2007 David Studinski/Bewildered Society, unless otherwise noted.