Saturday, February 14, 2004
Because Today It Matters?
Today, America divides.
Singles against Lovebirds.
The empty verses the taken.
The depressed verses the happy.
The people with a few magazines against the people with plans after the move.
For that matter, people who have plans in general against everyone else.
And all because of some Saint and the marketing team of Hallmark.
Regardless of the facts that be, a certain group of people across the world stop in their steps today. They ponder life, its meaning, its answer and how to link all of the above together in less than 100 years.
Good fucking luck figuring that out.
To the best of my knowledge, people are still trying; and depending on who you talk to, love is not always a prominent point in that whole scheme.
I know, I know -- this is heavily debated, but most people will stand on one side of the fence or the other today. You can probably imagine, or know first hand where that fence stands, too.
For those of you more experienced individuals (or teams) you know second, third or fourth hand.
But here's what I've never gotten: Why we bitch about it.
We're either happy or we're not; there's never any middle ground for people on Valentine's Day... never. The singles have a hard time stepping back from the situation and examining it with open eyes. Perhaps this is understandable, seeing as the couples are usually rubbing it in singles' faces with overpriced chocolate, chintzy cards, way too fucking big teddy bears and the occasional "cute" screen-printed heart thong.
You do win points for showing and/or giving me any of the aforementioned items; that’s beside the point, though.
As a result of the hodgepodge love making weekend, singles freak out; big time. Some struggle to the dying minutes of the night to find themselves a willing candidate for dinner. Others just plain admit that they, as with the previous X amount of nights, will be spending it without the intention of seeking compassion from another individual.
[Feel free to substitute compassion with lust, sex, love, etc…]
At college, the situation is all the more interesting: Many of the singles run away back home to hideout from the reality of what’s truly happening: a whole shit load of people going out on dates in a somewhat organized matter.
...Insert dramatic/climatic music here...
So, the singles run away…this, of course, as opposed to drinking themselves into a twisted oblivion.
Yet, in the end, I ask this: Does it really matter whether or not you do anything?
Only if you let it get to you.
Singles long have made Valentine’s Day an easily dreaded stress filled couples-bash; leaving the untaken with nothing more to show than an empty night.
There’s no solid reasoning to support either end of the singles v. couples war; in the end it matters only what you make of the situation.
Sometimes the individuals who most deserve the attention are the last ones to receive it, especially on days like this. However, worrying, complaining and otherwise senseless bitching will get these people nowhere, its looking through the thick headed circumstance of the situation that will.
Fate, love included, has a twisted way of weaving itself in and out of our own lives; striking when we least expect it, and leaving when we need it the most. Yet, this is life, and we move on.
So, to all the singles out there: don’t be upset, don’t worry and don’t get depressed: it only adds fuel to the fire. Know that your time will come, too – and glorious things come to those who wait.
Tomorrow, things will return to normal, and the playing field will be leveled; in the meanwhile, enjoying having a heavier wallet and a lighter heart.
Just as importantly: Spend some time with your friends. Get to know the ones you don’t know so well, make new ones – make someone else feel as important as you want to. After all, no one ever said V-Day is limited to the commemoration of sexual relationships.
Besides, the stories you construct in the presence of said individuals will long outlast any half-hearted Valentine’s Day rendezvous.
And for those of you who will be partaking in activities this evening: Watch your back.
Even Cupid forgets to wrap his arrow.
Friday, February 13, 2004
Yah - I Read Buddy Profiles; So What?
By the power invested in me by the World Wide Web, I hereby announce it to be Big Joey Day, on this, the thirteenth day of the second month of the two-thousand and fourth year of our Lord.
All hail.
[Don't know? Don't ask...]
But feel free to leave comments for today's guest of honor.
Thursday, February 12, 2004
An Update to a Story Previously Mentioned...
CNN.com - IM game spreads virulent ad-delivery software
Some users of the popular AOL Instant Messenger program were bombarded Wednesday with messages seemingly from friends that linked to a humorous Osama bin Laden game.
Downloading the game, however, installed a piggybacking program that broadcast the advertisement from the infected computer to all correspondents on its AIM buddy lists.
The software, called Buddylinks, is not technically a virus because users must accept its terms of service before it's installed. The small-print legal disclaimer states what's being installed, though users tend to click through such legalese without reading it.
Comcast Gets an Omen
Disney worker killed by float at Magic Kingdom
A costumed worker was killed after being run over by a float during an afternoon parade at Walt Disney World on Wednesday.Ohhhh... and to think of who the float could have killed...
The costumed performer's death occurred as Disney chairman and CEO Michael Eisner and other top executives were at the resort for a conference with investment analysts.
Liberal Media Kicks Ass
Harvard approves student sex magazine
Harvard University has approved a student magazine about sex that will feature art, sex advice and fiction -- as well as photographs of undressed Harvard undergraduates.Damn, I'm at the wrong school...
Ahh - I Don't Like Conservative BS!
Oscars pay price of breast-baring:
Next month's Oscar ceremony will not be broadcast live for the first time because of the backlash caused by the 'Janet Jackson incident'.Alright - this is really starting to piss me off.
Jackson shows us a nipple and all holy hell breaks loose in LA and on Capital Hill. Isn't enough enough?
Clearly what happened is not a "new" or "surprising" side effect of live television; we've known about the risks of broadcasting without delay for a long time. Needless to say: shit happens.
We know television, hell - media in general, is fucked up; but especially television because of the potential audience it can reach. The media has been pounded with negative images over the years: part of it is society, the other is the "if it bleeds it leads" concept. So, is it really breaking news when a nipple makes it on TV on accident… for mere seconds?
Of course! It was a "family event;" or so they said in-between the E.D. commercials...
Family event? That can be argued either way, but here's something for you to think about: What would have been the case if a massive bomb exploded right in the middle of the game; or if the streaker would have actually made it on-air?
Who knows? That's the beauty of live television. If you want to start delaying every awards show, delay every sporting event and every news show -- go for it. (As Tucker Carlson said on CNN's Crossfire today, "Do we need this many awards shows?") But what better a great way to turn us from the land of the free into the land of the freaked out?
Sure, the media blew it out of whack, but the government is pushing it more now.
The bottom line: We're way too paranoid about this one incident, and it's time we move on and accept that stuff happens, people apologize and we all move on. If we think that delaying a few broadcasts here and there will solve all of the media's "bad air" problems; the FCC has another thing commin'. Such a move would involve controlling the entertainment AND media industries... and good luck taming that beast, Mr. Powell.
Oh yah - isn't that what the FCC was created (in part) for? You know: that same commission that went and signed the 1996 TCom act into effect, allowing mergers to pop up everywhere. Mergers that created huge alliances between powerful media outlets...
And now that commission is bitching because we've got some giant corporate monster running around terrorizing America with a nipple.
Heh... and to think: this started with CBS, of all networks. (Couldn't have been FOX, eh?)
---
To the over-concerned republican parents: Your kids didn't even notice, they're more concerned with why Mike Ditka can't get his dick up; or better said, how to pronounce the technical term for him not being able to get it up.
By the way, at least the Academy is sticking up for itself:The president of the Academy of Motion Pictures and Sciences, Frank Pierson, said the decision by the television station ABC was offensive and unnecessary since the show has been broadcast for more than 50 years without incident.
"A live show is either alive or not," he wrote in a letter to Academy members. "Free speech is either free or it is not." However, he said that the organization had "no contractual ability to refuse the network's decision to bow to government pressure".
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
News Alert: Comcast to own you, your family & Disney
This Just In From the "Holy Fucking Shit" Department:
Comcast Makes $66B Bid for Disney (washingtonpost.com)
Comcast, the nation's largest cable company, announced this morning that it has made an unsolicited proposal to merge with The Walt Disney Co.
News Alert: Don't Click Osama!
We're being told at this hour that a hot new virus is making its way around the net via AOL Instant Messenger Links. The virus is coming being sent out as a link from a "news source" with OSAMA CAPTURED mentioned within the link somewhere.
If you receive this link, do not click it.
If you do, make sure you click NO to any suggestions for agreeing to download anything, especially an applet. As a general rule -- never click yes anyway.
Regardless, BS.com Chief Computer Analyst Mike Peters has posted what he believes to be a fix to the problem at his Web site.
He's single - and looking for a roommate, by the way. (I assure you there's no relation between the two.)
Contact him if you're interested. Actually - contact me and I'll contact him for you...
Oh - and thank him for saving your ass, while you're at it.
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
Hick Drops Suit
IOL : Legal action against Super Bowl duo dropped
Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake will not have to appear in court over the exposure of Jackson's right breast at the Super Bowl's half-time show, after legal action was dropped Tuesday by an American woman, it was reported on Tuesday.I don't think she has any right to be called an "American Woman" for pulling this bullshit stunt.
Terri Carlin, an American bank employee from Knoxville, Tennessee, had begun a class action suit claiming that she and "millions of others" suffered "outrage, anger, embarrassment and serious injury".
Escape Lesson #342: Don't Go Late Night
Escapee tries to buy bolt cutters at Wal-Mart
A Wal-Mart cashier thought there was something suspicious about a customer at an Arkansas store.The man should be rewarded for just getting past Wal*Mart's greeters with 'cuffs on!
It may have been the handcuffs he was wearing. It may have been the bolt cutters he was buying. It may have been the hour -- 4:30 in the morning.
The clerk called police after completing the sale. Officers caught the man, just minutes later.
Airline Chop Suey
Discontent JAL workers sabotaging planes:
Japan Airlines (JAL) insiders unhappy with wage cuts apparently severed wires on a passenger aircraft in January, officials of the nation's giant flag carrier have told the Mainichi.And you thought we had problems in the states...
Westward Leading...
Three Wise Men may have been... women:
The Three Wise Men who followed the star to Bethlehem bearing gifts for the baby Jesus may not have been all that wise -- or even men. The traditional infant Nativity play scene could be in for a drastic rewrite after the Church of England indulged in some academic gender-swapping over the three Magi at its General Synod in London this week. A committee revising the latest prayer book said the term 'Magi' was a transliteration of the name used by officials at the Persian court, and that they could well have been women.Yah - Nothing like a 2000+ year old "my bad."
What's next? The disciples were gay?
Monday, February 09, 2004
'Oh Phuck!'
Head to Phillie Phanatic Costume Missing
The Philadelphia Phillies' green furry mascot has completely lost his head.*Insert random joke about losing one's head from his own shoulders...*
On Friday, the Phillie Phanatic's noggin vanished from the Wachovia Center during the Phillies' Final Pieces charity sale and auction of mementos from now-shuttered Veterans Stadium.
Phillies spokesman Larry Shenk said Monday that the team had not determined whether a reward would be offered for the safe return of the head. There were no leads in the theft, he said.
[Props to Willo for the find.]
Ooo... Nifty
Do you write like a boy... or a girl?
Do you care?
Well, assuming you do: Get your cootie shot, grab your latest paper and head on over to The Gender Genie
'Hey ya.... hey-ya hey-ya hey-ya hey-ya'
NCM: OutKast Grammy Performance Offends American Indians
Some excerpts:
...Reader Zoltan Grossman remarks, “I wonder how [Outkast member Andre 3000] would feel if Eminen performed a rap in blackface.”Ignorance is Bliss...
...Boyd links the “anti-Indian tone” of their show, held in Los Angeles, to Calif. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s political reputation as an “Indian fighter.”
...“There is no doubt this was an attempt to spoof Native peoples – the background set was a tipi and an introductory voice over mentioned that ‘the Natives are getting restless,'" Boyd says. “If you saw it and do not like it, I urge you to take action and let CBS know what you think.”
News Alert: $100 million lawsuit filed against BSU
The Ball State Daily News - Nationally-known attorney to file $100 million Civil Rights Lawsuit against Ball State
Nationally-known attorney Geoffrey Fieger will be holding a press conference Tuesday at 11 a.m. at the law offices of Dennis, Wenger and Abrell, 324 W. Jackson St. to announce the filing of a $100 million Federal Civil Rights Lawsuit against Ball State University and first year officer Robert Duplain:-O
Duplain shot and killed Ball State student Michael McKinney in November. Duplain responded to a report of a buglary at 1325 North St. He found McKinney in the backyard and yelled for him to freeze. McKinney ran toward the officer with his arms out and wouldn't stop and Duplain opened fire. University Police Chief Gene Burton said Duplain had identified himself as a police officer.
News Alert: Red Bull-sh*t
European court backs ban on Red Bull over health concerns:
Health concerns over the Red Bull energy drink were fuelled yesterday after Europe's highest court upheld a French ban on the product. The fizzy drink has been linked to several deaths and some experts have criticised its high levels of caffeine and other stimulants...."plus my mommy said it was okay!"
Red Bull - which sells 1.6 billion cans worldwide - said yesterday that its product was safe. A spokeswoman said: "Red Bull will continue to be sold in 100 countries worldwide." She added: "No authority in the world has ever discovered or proven an unhealthy effect in or from Red Bull."
Yah - just the type of bullshit I expect to hear from an arrogant, extreme-demographic centered manufacturer.
Music Industry Get's B-Slapped
Electronic Rock Band Stikes Blow For Consumer Rights :: AO
The self styled 'progressive electronic-trip rock' band Eisbecher have bundled two blank CD-Rs with each copy of their new album.This is great step forward for fair P2P trading.
Whilst much of the record industry wants to turn back the clock so that they are the only people who can make any kind of recordings Eisbech have made a point of supporting the consumers existing legal right to fair use copies.
Now, if only we knew who in the hell these guys were.
Breaking News: (sorta)
We've just been given a preview of the NFL's suggestion for next year's Super Bowl half time show: Here it is
Yearghhhh!
Yahoo! News - CNN Says It Overplayed Dean's Iowa Scream
It probably means little now to Howard Dean, but CNN's top executive believes his network overplayed the infamous clip of Dean's "scream" after the Iowa caucuses.After all, a 24-hour news network isn't overdoing it to begin with; let alone having three, right?
"It was a big story, but the challenge in a 24-hour news network is that you try to keep all of your different viewers throughout the day informed without overdoing it," said Princell Hair, CNN's general manager.
...the cable and broadcast news networks aired Dean's Iowa exclamation 633 times — and that doesn't include local news or talk shows — in the four days after it was made, according to the Hotline, a Washington-based newsletter.Six hundred and thirty-three times?
That's it?
NYC: Patriot Act Can Go F*ck Itself
N.Y. City Council Passes Anti-Patriot Act Measure (washingtonpost.com)
New York City, site of the country's most horrific terrorist attack, Wednesday became the latest in a long list of cities and towns that have formally opposed the expanded investigatory powers granted to law enforcement agencies under the USA Patriot Act.Ironic?
Perhaps.
A sign that we may be doing something wrong?
Ya think?
High-speed Access On Your Death Bed!
HoustonChronicle.com - Hospitals bringing the Internet to bedsides
Access to e-mail and the Internet is everywhere these days -- from coffee shops to cruise ships. So why not at a hospital, where patients can take their mind off that painful appendectomy and instant message while lying in bed?There's always sponge baths...
That's part of the thinking behind a new bedside service at Memorial Hermann Memorial City Hospital, which is among the first in the nation to offer the Pyxis PatientStation. For $9.95 per day, the personal computer gives touch-screen access to cable TV, music, games and high-speed Internet -- and eases the boredom of a hospital stay, patients say.
Rich People Bitching
MSNBC - Disney's Segway ban rankles some visitors:
But Meredy Jenkins, a 55-year-old graphic designer in Orlando who has multiple sclerosis, said many people don't want to use wheelchairs or scooters because they have to sit. 'They want you to sit in a wheelchair and feel even more handicapped,' Jenkins said. 'Most people I know aren't ready to sit down. It's an insult.'So - standing on a self-balancing, space-age looking overpriced moped will make you feel less handicapped?
Maybe physically - but sure as hell not mentally.
'This Is Your Prophet Speaking...'
Airline Pilot Stirs Christian Discussion:
An American Airlines pilot asked Christians on board a flight to New York to identify themselves and suggested that the non-Christians discuss the faith with them, an airline spokesman said yesterday.Interesting, indeed.
Although this was truly the wrong thing to say to any group of people, it's especially freaky to hear it coming from the mouth of the pilot whose plane you just boarded...
Music Industry Smacked Up, Again
Pay, Don't Sue, Song-Swappers, Trade Group Urges :
Internet users could collect paychecks rather than lawsuits when they share music through 'peer-to-peer' networks like Kazaa, under a proposal outlined by an industry trade group on Thursday.Brilliant idea!
Rather than losing millions of dollars in potential sales to online song swappers, the recording industry should give them a cut of the revenues when they distribute songs in a protected format, the Distributed Computing Industry Association said.
They'll never use it.
Sunday, February 08, 2004
'He's not one of us...'
Young undercover officer key to school drug sting
As dozens of Alamance County high-school students - some dressed in orange jail jumpsuits - filtered into courtrooms for their first appearance on drug charges, one classmate kept a low profile.Wait -- there's irony!
The smooth-faced 21-year-old recounted how he regularly bought drugs during his five months at Graham High School - as an undercover police officer posing as a 17-year-old student.
Another judge handled the hearing for JamesOn Curry, the state's all-time leading high-school basketball scorer, because Curry's defense lawyer is [Judge Brad] Allen's wife, Dawn Allen. Curry faces charges related to selling marijuana.Yup - he was a high scorer.
Yah - This is News... not.
Something Strange Rains on Valley Pike Home
“I saw brown spots covering the patio,” he said. “Like big, brown raindrops is what it looked like.”Umhmm... Okay -so, let's go the experts...Steve Rogowski, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service in Sterling, said the spots probably are not natural.Thanks, nimshit.
“I have never heard of anything like that before,” Rogowski said. “We just do weather over here, and it wasn’t weather-related.”
Road Kill to the Extreme
Overturned Van Spills 700 Live Rodents
PEARISBURG, Va. - A cargo van filled with cages carrying more than 700 gerbils, rats, mice and other rodents overturned Thursday, sending the animals scurrying onto a highway and sparking a bizarre large-scale rescue of the small animals.
State: Admit, deny, done.
State: Admit, deny, done.:
How much time do students spend perfecting their college applications? Considerably more time than most Florida schools spend deciding their fate.
Bush: 'I... I... I...'
Bush Defends War in Rare TV Interview
"I expected to find the weapons," Bush said in an Oval Office interview broadcast Sunday on NBC's "Meet the Press."...he also expects to find reelection.
"Sitting behind this desk, making a very difficult decision of war and peace, I based my decision on the best intelligence possible," the president said. The interview was taped Saturday....which isn't saying much.
What the...
Here's my question/thought of the day:
What exactly is a "milkshake" - and why the fuck is it bringing people to one's own yard?
Your comments below:
©2003-2007 David Studinski/Bewildered Society, unless otherwise noted.