Friday, December 19, 2003
We're going to be slowing up for the holidays -- but keep your browser pointed here!
You'll still be able to find new bloggings and eSocieties throughout the holidays as we gear up for some special suprises and big announcements headed your way in the near future!
"What are they," you may ask?
Keep checking back, dumbass.
Thursday, December 18, 2003
FedEx plane catches fire at Memphis airport
MEMPHIS, Tenn. - A FedEx cargo jet caught fire while landing at the Memphis airport Thursday. No injuries were reported. The cause of the fire was not immediately known. It also wasn't clear whether the jet's cargo was damaged.
Ho, ho, holy hell some little kid isn't getting his package on time!
The following text is taken verbatim from the NOAA website early yesterday. The link was soon changed to represent only the real weather information, but it's still pretty damn funny.
NOAA.GOV: Weather Hazards for Turney, MO
NON PRECIPITATION STATEMENT
URGENT - WEATHER MESSAGE
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE KANSAS CITY-PLEASANT HILL MO
1055 AM CST WED DEC 17 2003
...TEST...TEST...TEST...
.UNUSUALLY HOT WEATHER HAS ENTERED THE REGION FOR DECEMBER...AS THE
EARTH HAS LEFT ITS ORBIT AND IS HURLING TOWARD THE SUN.
MOZ012-021-172251-
ANDREW MO-CLINTON MO-
1055 AM CST WED DEC 17 2003
...EXCESSIVE HEAT WATCH IN EFFECT FROM THIS AFTERNOON TO LATE
TONIGHT...
UNUSUALLY HOT WEATHER WILL OCCUR FOR AT LEAST THE NEXT SEVERAL DAYS
AS THE EARTH DRAWS EVER NEARER TO THE SUN. THEREFORE...AN EXCESSIVE
HEAT WATCH HAS BEEN POSTED.
STAY TUNED TO NOAA WEATHER RADIO AND OTHER LOCAL MEDIA FOR FURTHER
DETAILS OR UPDATES.
$$
HEINLEIN
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nativity’s baby Jesus missing
Sometime over the weekend, someone stole the ceramic statue from the Nativity scene on the front lawn of St. Paul’s Evangelical Lutheran Church on East Wayne Street in Maumee.
People - we just don't do this.... not now, not during the holidays.
Ironically, members of the church have been rehearsing a Christmas play called Stolen Jesus....
No - not even then.
Woman Faces Charge for Selling Sex Toys
Adult stores sell sex toys around the law by posting signs that say "sold only as novelties." Webb didn't do that and faces up to a year in jail and a $4,000 fine if convicted.
:-O
SOHH.com Global Forum - 100% UNDENIABLE PROOF that the 11 minute Mario 3 video is FAKE
Yeah -- just like the link says.
Half-Ton Snowball Traps, Injures Boy
NIAGARA FALLS, Ontario -- An 11-year-old Canadian boy is recovering in a hospital after he was trapped underneath a half-ton snowball.
Officials in Niagara Falls, Ontario, say the boy and his classmates at a Catholic elementary school were rolling the 5-foot-high snowball around the playground when he slipped.
The snowball rolled onto him, cutting off his oxygen. Officials say the school principal revived the boy by performing CPR.
This is an episode of Rescue 911 waiting to happen...
Drunk unlocks police car with own key:
OSUKA, Kanagawa -- A man who unlocked a police investigation vehicle with his own car key while drunk, then drove to an empty lot and fell asleep in the vehicle has been arrested, police said.
Nevermind the fact, officer, that HIS key started YOUR vehicle.
Unlucky 13 strike out
A single lightning strike is believed to have killed 13 prized dairy cows at Fernvale, west of Brisbane.
Dairy farmer David Potter said he believed the lightning hit a tree the Friesians were under and they were killed in a "chain reaction".
"There was two big claps of thunder and when I went to get the cows, there were 13 of them dead under the tree," Mr Potter said.
Mother nature's BBQ.
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
Guess the Dictator or Sit-Com Character
Here are the rules: Pretend to be a dictator or television sitcom character. I'll try to guess who you are by asking simple yes/no questions. If you're not sure of the answer to a question, answer "No". If you forgot who you were pretending to be, go take a nap, you're obviously under too much stress. Also, drink plenty of fluids.
Freaky as hell.
The Smoking Gun: Backstage Pass
Thanks to our friends at The Smoking Gun, we're able to see that the Backstreet Boys were completely deprived of any fun on their tour.
Said a memo in the tour rider (requirements) for their dressing room:
"NO CANDY, CHIPS, CHOCOLATE, OR JUNK FOOD OF ANY KIND PLEASE"
Hm, I guess the curfew was mentioned later on?
From the "For no other reason than we know he has it" Department:
Saints' Horn to Pay $30G for Cell Call:
NEW ORLEANS -- New Orleans Saints receiver Joe Horn was fined $30,000 by the NFL on Tuesday for making a choreographed cell-phone call in the end zone to celebrate a touchdown.
"Would I take it back? No, no. I knew exactly what I was doing," Horn said after the game.
The Saints were penalized 15 yards for unsportsmanlike conduct for the stunt.
Horn commented, "Next time, I'll just send a txt msg."
Irony grows wings:
Plane Crashes In Lee County, Group Going To Centennial Flight Event
SANFORD, N.C. -- One person was killed Wednesday morning after a single-engine plane crashed just after takeoff from the Sanford-Lee County Regional Airport . The plane was headed to Kill Devil Hills for Wednesday's Centennial of Flight celebration.
Chesapeake teller wouldn't take robber's note
It was nearing 3 p.m. Monday when a man walked into the BB&T at 1809 Greenbrier Parkway and handed a teller a note saying that he was robbing the bank.
To his surprise, the teller handed the piece of paper back.
“The woman looked at the note and politely slid it back to him and said, 'I can’t accept this,’ ” said police spokesman Tommy Kullman.
The man slid the note back again.
“This time, she picked it up, balled it up and threw it back at him,’’ Kullman said.
The man picked up the note and walked out of the bank and down Greenbrier Parkway.
While the teller’s actions foiled the robber’s plan, Kullman said police don’t recommend such a response.
Adding, "but that is pretty damn funny!"
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
Cardinal Says U.S. Treated Saddam 'Like a Cow'
VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - A top Vatican official said Tuesday he felt pity and compassion for Saddam Hussein and criticized the U.S. military for showing video footage of him being treated "like a cow."
Oh - but tell the gays to f*ck off....
EA Sports Proves 'It's In the Game:'
Video game maker paints its grass greener, in code:
Vancouver video-game maker Electronic Arts is using in-your-face tactics to try to recruit employees away from rival Radical Entertainment.
A billboard on Terminal Avenue near Main Street says 'now hiring,' followed by EA Canada's logo.
What has raised eyebrows at Radical is the fact that the message is in ASCII code -- a computer language in which numbers are used to represent letters -- and that the billboard is only about 100 metres from the company's head office.
Because of its location and its cryptic message, it's clearly aimed at wooing away Radical's software engineers and programmers, Radical chief executive Ian Wilkinson said Tuesday.
Saddam replaces Jesus just in 'Time':
Saddam Hussein has belatedly replaced Jesus Christ on the cover of Time magazine, resulting in more than a million copies of the latest edition having to be reworked.
Well, if this isn't just asking for it...
'Tranny castrates self, fakes bias crime
A 22-year-old transvestite was in critical condition yesterday after he hacked off his penis, then lied and told cops he was the victim of a hate crime.
So what you're saying is: he didn't have the balls to tell the truth?
Bush signs anti-spam bill
President Bush signed legislation Tuesday meant to stem the flood of unwanted e-mail pitches that irritate Internet users and drain the economy.
This could quite possibly be the most productive week we've had Washington, D.C. for a long while...
2,666 Jugs of Urine Found on Highways
From March 4 to Nov. 27, 2002, one Adams County highway cleanup crew picked up 2,666 jugs of urine and 67 bags with human excrement in them.
What sick little f*ck(s)....?
Actress Sues MTV, Snoop Over Fake Nude, Sex Scenes
A Los Angeles actress has sued MTV and rapper Snoop Dogg, saying they edited her videotaped performance to make her appear to be naked and having sex despite her insistence that she wanted to appear in pajamas and would only consent to holding hands.
Wow - now that's editing.
Monday, December 15, 2003
Sunday, December 14, 2003
World's Second Largest Game of "Hide and Go Seek" Ends
U.S. troops captured Saddam Hussein hiding in a hole near his hometown of Tikrit in a major coup for Washington's beleaguered occupying force in Iraq.
Grubby, bearded and "very disorientated," the 66-year-old fallen dictator was dug out by troops from a cramped hiding pit during a raid on a farm in Ad-Dawr village late Saturday, U.S. Maj. Gen. Ray Odierno told a news conference in Tikrit.
©2003-2007 David Studinski/Bewildered Society, unless otherwise noted.