Saturday, November 15, 2003
Driver hits DMV building, but passes test:
A Ponce Inlet woman who was trying to renew her driver's license nearly lost her privilege to drive Thursday when she smacked her car into the driver's license office on Jean Street.
One witness said, "It was the fastest I think I've ever seen any DMV employee move..."
Ellen Gray | 'Simple' slips, Andy rips, kiddies flip
And while we're talking Nielsen demos, here's a scary one: The No. 1 prime-time show in the country last week among 2- to 5-year-olds was NBC's "Fear Factor" (followed by CBS' "Survivor: Pearl Islands" and ABC's "Wonderful World of Disney"). If there's good news, it's that only 697,000 preschoolers were estimated to be watching "Fear Factor."
Hey - give the kids a break...
...it was the PlayMates episode...
From the "But Does She Have a Leg to Stand On?" Department:
Bembenek Sues "Dr. Phil" Show
Convicted killer Laurie Bembenek was in a California court Monday to file a lawsuit against Dr. Phil. It was a year ago that Bembenek traveled to the "Dr. Phil" show in Hollywood to get results of DNA tests she hoped would exonerate her.
Instead, she ended up losing her leg when she jumped out the window of a hotel where she was being kept before her appearance.
In a lawsuit filed against Dr. Phil McGraw and Paramount Pictures, Bembenek alleges that a celebrity psychologist knew she suffered from panic and posttraumatic stress disorders, but she was confined in a gated housing complex without radio, TV, or telephone. The suit says Bembenek was guarded
around-the-clock by a Dr. Phil staff person. Bembenek says the conditions felt like prison again, and prompted her attempt to escape out a window by sliding down a bed sheet. She fell when the sheet snapped and eventually had to have her right leg amputated.
Mental note:
Don't let your RA catch you digging a hole in your floor...
[See below]
Kidnapping charge against lawyer dropped
NEW YORK (AP) -- An attorney accused of burying an associate alive under the floor of his Manhattan apartment left court a free man Thursday after a prosecutor said she would be unable to prove kidnapping.
A state Supreme Court justice dismissed the kidnapping charge filed against Lawrence Omansky, 54, after Lawrence Schlosser, 63, said Omansky attacked him, tied him up and left him under the floor boards for more than a day.
When asked what he did with his time, Schlosser respond, "I was bored stiff."
Aside from the pun - I'm shocked they let this guy off...
..gives me an idea for what to do with my roommate....
brb.
Employees, Customers Involved In Fast Food Brawl
In what appears to be the best use of Wendy's food yet...
SAGINAW TOWNSHIP, Mich. -- Four people are in jail for their role in what officials describe as the "ultimate food fight."
Police said five customers walked into a Wendy's restaurant after they felt they were mistreated by a friend who worked there. The five had just come out of the drive-through. Saginaw Township police said a number of employees and customers got involved in the brawl. People threw trays and punches but no one got hurt.
Don't they mean a Biggie sized food fight?
Cocaine delivered to second school
HURLEY - Fifteen pounds of cocaine found in a ground-meat box at East Central Upper Elementary School came from the same shipment sent to an Ellisville school, where 15 pounds of cocaine was found in a ground meat box last week.
A cafeteria worker at the Hurley school found the cocaine in a box stamped Lot No. 021 early Monday morning.
SEE - WE KNEW IT! They swore to us up and down it was meat....but nooo, now we really know the truth.
Hanging Corpse Admired as Sculpture on Campus
BUDAPEST - Police on Friday removed the corpse of a man believed to have hanged himself at least a year ago after builders and students at Budapest's University of Arts had initially mistaken it for a modern sculpture.
Inspirational!
..least he wasn't shot.
Soft-drink maker wants to put turkey in your straw — gravy, too
It's just what the belly craves for Thanksgiving, a refreshing bottle of ... turkey-and-gravy soda.
Seattle-based Jones Soda Co. — which brought you WhoopAss energy drink, blue bubble gum and even canned-ham and fish-taco drinks — plans to test market its poultry-inspired beverage in Washington and Michigan beginning next week.
And yet another reason to drink on Thanksgiving...
Friday, November 14, 2003
American Eagle's Profits Drop 63 Percent
WARRENDALE, Pa. (AP)--American Eagle Outfitters Inc. Thursday said its profit tumbled 63 percent in the recently ended quarter on increased expenses and an $8 million impairment charge for its struggling Bluenotes chain.
That's what you get for putting out sh*t clothes...
Freakish storm hits Southern California - Nov. 13, 2003
LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- A freak storm pummeled parts of Southern California with up to 5 inches of rain and hail, forcing motorists to abandon swamped cars at the height of rush hour and leaving thousands of residents without power.
Yah - It's true, look at the pictures:
These ones, right here.
[Props to Mike for the find]
Thursday, November 13, 2003
World's oldest person - Japanese woman - dies weeks after assuming new title
TOKYO (AP) - A 114-year-old Japanese woman who had assumed the title of the world's oldest person last month died Thursday, a spokesman for Hiroshima city said.
That's a pisser...
Mysterious 'Ted' is advertising campaign for United's new low-cost carrier
November 8, 2003 — A mystery man named "Ted," who buys lunch for strangers and sprinkles his name around on stickers, signboards and even a farmer's field, is reportedly the creation of United Airlines' new low-cost carrier.
United isn't talking about "Ted," the last three letters of United, and a spokesman won't even confirm the airline is behind the blitz, reported by the Chicago Tribune and newspapers in Denver this week.
"All I can tell you is that we'll announce details when the time is right, and in the meantime we're going to have fun with our launch," said spokesman Jeff Green.
#3 on the list of things you don't ever want to hear an airline say.
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
Merriam-Webster to McDonald's: `McJob' is here to stay
The 11th edition of Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, published in June, defines a "McJob" as "a low-paying job that requires little skill and provides little opportunity for advancement."
The fast-food giant's chief executive, Jim Cantalupo, called the definition a "slap in the face" to the 12 million people who work in the restaurant industry, and demanded that Merriam-Webster dish up something more flattering.
But the dictionary publisher said Tuesday that it "stands by the accuracy and appropriateness" of its definition.
...adding, "So, McF*ck Off."
--
This raises a lovely ethical debate about stereotypes and the people who do or do not fill their shoes.
Now - there are a fair number of people who have made a lovely life out of working at franchised businesses such as McD's... But to say that "McJob" offends 12 million people?
I don't think so.
If anything, I'm surprised the company hasn't gone after trademark infringement; but I do not believe it is applicable here. Even then, I don't think it'd put them in any better of a light.
The truth of the matter is that the definition is eerily accurate. I say it's time for McDonald's to move on with life, and to stop worrying about a small quarter-inch blurb in one of the largest books in the world.
Perhaps quality food might be a good place to start?
"We'll be cruising at [hiccup] 31,000 fe.... damn: 31,000? Hey -- Linda, see if you can get Ryan to try that in shots!"
British Airways crew held at Oslo airport:
Police received a tip Tuesday morning, according to the web site for local newspaper Romerikes Blad, that prompted them to head for the British Airways Airbus A320 as it was being made ready for departure. The flight had 55 passengers on board, clear for takeoff.
They ended up being transferred to other London-bound flights after police made it clear that the flight's crew wasn't going anywhere.
"There'ssomethingsomeone special in the air..."
NYC district denies birth of Jesus?:
In a dispute over display of holiday symbols, New York City schools are allowing Jewish menorahs and Islamic crescents but barring Christian nativity scenes, alleging the depiction of the birth of Christ does not represent a historical event.
In pleadings with a federal court in defense of the ban, New York City lawyers asserted the 'suggestion that a crèche is a historically accurate representation of an event with secular significance is wholly disingenuous.'
BREAKING NEWS: TERRORISTS: "See, we had a reason..."
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
Trucker crashes while changing clothes:
LAPORTE, Ind. -- A truck driver crashed his semitrailer while trying to change clothes as he drove 60 mph on a northern Indiana highway, police said.
A witness told investigators she found [the driver] naked when she went to check on him right after the accident.
Sure, he was "changing..."
Reuters | Latest Financial News / Full News Coverage:
GREER, S.C. (Reuters) - When President Bush talks about his drinking days, he usually speaks in serious tones and often with a moral lesson attached, but he found a chance to laugh about them on Monday.
During a meeting Bush held at a BMW vehicle factory in South Carolina with plant workers and suppliers, Spartanburg Steel Products President Stephen Thies told the president his company had an affiliate that was the only American maker of beer kegs.
Umhm.... Drinking and driving, eh, Dubyah?
'I quit drinking in '86, but I bet some of the people out here use the product,' Bush said. 'I'm not going to point out which ones.'
Thies said, 'Well, we did notice a dip in demand at a point in time. Probably no relationship.'
To which Bush replied, laughing with his audience, 'Pretty observant fellow, aren't you?'
Adding under his breath, "I'll bomb your ass, too...Bitch."
Student: CNN Rigged Question for Presidential Debate
CNN: Student is a filthy f-ing liar
A Brown University student who was invited to participate in the "Rock the Vote" Democratic presidential debate hosted by CNN last week claimed that the network prepared her question "spontaneous" question.
The Most Trusted Name In Ne....Damnit.
Cranky cat grasses on pot-growing owner
In leafy Artarmon, the greenery is not confined to the garden. A cranky cat whose meows worried the neighbours has exposed its owner as a small-scale cannabis grower.
Cranky at having been left alone for the weekend, the tabby meowed so loudly that neighbours called the RSPCA. What they found was a fat and happy feline living among a brightly lit jungle of cannabis plants worth nearly $100,000.
Good kitty...
Let's just hope it wasn't "high kitty..."
Monday, November 10, 2003
So I had this idea... and I put BS.com Chief Photographer Will Vragovic to work:
Protect and Serve...
photo illustration|will vragovic
Sunday, November 09, 2003
Man pleads guilty to voyeurism:
VALPARAISO -- A former Valparaiso football player has pleaded guilty to voyeurism for putting a video camera inside a locker room used by the women's volleyball team.
A football player that knows technology? [Gasp!]
Officer kills Ball State student:
MUNCIE, Ind. -- A rookie Ball State University police officer fired four shots into a university student early Saturday, killing the 21-year-old, who investigators say lunged at the officer as he was responding to a burglary report.
So... What aren't they telling us about this?
©2003-2007 David Studinski/Bewildered Society, unless otherwise noted.