Saturday, November 08, 2003
Look out Ohio: Hooters Air is coming at you!
Fledgling Hooters Air adds 3 routes
Tiny Hooters Air is doubling its list of destinations.
The fledgling airline, which flew its inaugural flight in March from Atlanta to Myrtle Beach, S.C., will add three cities Dec. 18 -- Columbus, Ohio; Fort Myers, Fla.; and Nassau, Bahamas, the company announced Thursday.
The celibacy struggle
Abstinence pledges -- signed commitments that teenagers will not have sex before marriage -- might be less than effective, a recent study says.
After all, breaking the pledge can result in.....
Oh... Maybe that's why.
And more than half the teens in a recent study said a person should still be considered abstinent after engaging in oral sex.
That sucks...
NBC 4 - Automotive - Oil Change Outrage
In-depth coverage of oil change locations rip you off:
One suggested repair was flushing the transmission fluid.
EZ Lube Technician: "[It] should be nice and red. You see how bad it is already."
Undercover Researcher: "Well, it looks kind of red."
In fact, it is bright red, because our expert had just changed it.
Undercover Researcher: "It looks pretty bad?"
EZ Lube Technician: "Yeah"
So bad, EZ Lube says our transmission could break down.
EZ Lube Technician: "You're looking at about $3,500."
Cheating? Lying?
This is, after all, why these people work at these places...
You just really need to click the link for this one...
Jacko mascot 'Keggy' wins many Dartmouth fans:
When Nic Duquette '04 and Chris Plehal '04 of the Dartmouth Jack-o-Lantern humor magazine conceived of Keggy the Keg, they did not expect him to become an overnight sensation.
However, Keggy is now possibly the most talked about and well-received 'mascot' on campus.
Keggy the Keg made his debut as mascot this past Saturday at the Dartmouth Homecoming football game againt Columbia.
Duquette and Plehal said that they thought that the keg might well appear again at home football and hockey games.
"...and your neighborhood frat party, too," they added.
Tonight @ 11: Grandma Fights Back
Fast-Food Employees Subdue Would-Be Robber
A woman who attempted to rob a Subway restaurant at Metcalf Avenue and Johnson Drive Thursday evening was subdued by two people inside the business, KMBC reported.
The attempted robbery happened just before 6 p.m. A woman walked into the business, brandished a knife and jumped on the counter, demanding money. But Sharon Jackson, a 62-year-old employee at the store, decided to stop the crime in progress.
Jackson lunged at the woman and knocked her off the counter. Then, Jackson told another employee, 16-year-old Brandon Moses, to lock the door.
Thursday, November 06, 2003
4 Pa. School Athletes Guilty in Assault
WILKES-BARRE, Pa. Four high school football players accused of injuring a teammate after he had a bad game were found guilty of assault, officials said Monday.
Assistant District Attorney Anthony Ross said a judge found the teens delinquent of simple assault and harassment during a closed hearing.
Adam Harris, 15, suffered a broken jaw, a bruised shoulder and elbow in the September assault, which occurred after practice at Lake-Lehman High School.
Harris, a quarterback, has said he thinks he was harassed because he had thrown a couple of interceptions in a recent game. He was injured after being taped to a wheeled office chair that tipped over when it was shoved toward the gym.
So the p*ssy football player wants sympathy because his dumb-jock-ass found its way to an office chair that was being hurled through the hallway?
Hit the showers, loser.
Microsoft forgets to renew hotmail.co.uk domain
Despite being warned that the domain for its popular Web mail service was up for renewal, it seems Microsoft - or whoever had the task of managing its hotmail.co.uk domain - overlooked this vital piece of administration.
As a result, last month Microsoft lost its claim to the domain and it was duly returned to the open market to be picked up by whomever fancied it.
Imagine the fun we could have with their patents...
Bake sale stirs debate on affirmative action:
It sold just three cookies, but a unique bake sale Wednesday at Indiana University turned up the heat in an ongoing debate about affirmative action.
Modeled after similar events on campuses across the country, the sale offered cookies at different prices based on customers' race and gender. White males were charged $1; white females, Asians and Pacific Islanders, 75 cents; American Indians and Hispanics, 50 cents; and blacks, 25 cents.
The sliding scale was designed to highlight the unfairness of affirmative action policies, said Stephan Jerabek of The Committee for Freedom, a student activist group that conducted the sale in Dunn Meadow.
...and you can just imagine what it was like when the campus Starbuck's jumped on board...
Israel broadcasts secret weapons test by mistake
JERUSALEM (Reuters) - Live from Israel: A secret long-range artillery test broadcast by mistake across the Middle East on an open satellite television channel.
Israel's Channel 10 television captured an unencrypted live feed from one weapons-testing control room to another that was bounced off Israel's Amos communications satellite this week.
..and CNN's going, "Sh*t - how'd they get that...," while the US Gov is going, "Sh*t - why can't we get that..."
Wednesday, November 05, 2003
MTV to go up against iTunes
MTV Networks is preparing to launch a music download service with plans to go up against Apple Computer Inc.s iTunes and other competitors, said MTV chief Tom Freston on Monday. Freston, who addressed investors at the Harris Nesbitt Gerard Playtime conference, said the as-yet-unnamed service would debut within the first half of next year, but gave few details. It will compete with iTunes and everyone else, he said.
...by featuring full-frontal nudity of Carson Daily, inevitably winning that key "11-18 Horny Female with no credit card" demographic.
And from the Holy Land...
Lawyer fails in court bid to enforce twice daily "conjugal rights"
JERUSALEM (AFP) - An Israeli lawyer tried but failed to legally bind his wife to have sexual intercourse with him twice a day, the country's top-selling daily reported.
PATHETIC MAN REBUILDS 11-FOOT-TALL SPONGEBOB
The huge sculpture, a likeness of popular Nickelodeon cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants, with pilgrim shoes and a toothy grin, went up late Halloween afternoon and drew more than 100 area kids and their parents.
Weber's original SpongeBob, which stood about 6 feet tall, was stolen nearly seven months after the kooky cartoon creature had been erected. Police never found the thief, or thieves, but some of SpongeBob's limbs were later spotted in neighborhood trash bins.
Cue overaged pathetic girl in....3...2..1
Ninth-grader Jackie Thomas was "really disappointed" when SpongeBob was stolen. When she saw the new one while out trick-or-treating, she thought "it was really cool to have him in our neighborhood."
A FRESHMAN IN HIGH SCHOOL?
Karaoke King gets 'chop' from wife:
A POPULAR karaoke performer was hospitalized after his jealous wife tried - but failed - to cut off his penis while he slept Wednesday, Phnom Penh police said.
Kan Bun Hou, 26, was asleep when his wife, Ma Len, attacked him with a razor blade, said Touch Sarin, a Phnom Penh police chief. Police were looking for the woman, who fled after the attack.
'The injury is not severe. It could have been worse if she had used scissors,' he said. 'His wound is treatable.'
C'mon, bitch! Look at the guy's heritage -- he's got it bad enough!
Kobe T-Shirts Cause Stink in Eagle County:
In October, employees of the Eagle County, Colo. (search) sheriff's and district attorney's offices put in orders for a shipment of anti-Kobe Bryant T-shirts.
On the front of the T-shirts ordered by the county workers is a hanging man. On the back is a choice of two derogatory statements about the Los Angeles Lakers (search) basketball star.
Legal observers say none of this is against the law, but is definitely unethical.
Yah - and besides...
The T-shirts cost $12.95 in single units, but the two Eagle County offices ordered so many that they got the discount rate.
Score!!
CNN.com - NBC chief: Our shows 'sucked'
NEW YORK (AP) -- The top networks are suffering through a lackluster fall season partly because "some of the programming just sucked," NBC's entertainment chief said on Tuesday.
NBC's Jeff Zucker, who has already canned two high-profile new series, said while networks question some of Nielsen Media Research's numbers this year, TV executives need also look in the mirror.
"Our programming is not that good and the Nielsen sample is bad. End of story," said Zucker, speaking to the International Radio & Television Society Foundation.
Yeah - he ACTUALLY said that!
Coming soon to reality television: Network Executive Survivor!
Microsoft Puts $500,000 on Virus Writers' Heads
Microsoft offered two $250,000 rewards for information leading to the arrest and conviction of those responsible for the Blaster worm and the SoBig.F e-mail virus, which infected more than half a million computers, crashed thousands of systems, and snarled Internet traffic across the globe in August and September.
The recipient can also chose a software option as an equal replacement for the handsome $250,000 reward:
A copy of Microsoft Office 2003.
Man Pays More Than $2,500 for a Beer
WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) -- How much would you pay for a beer in Hong Kong? A New Zealand traveler paid 20,000 Hong Kong dollars (US$2,595) for his.
The man later told his bank he thought he was paying only about HK$19 (US$2.45) for the single beer, and that he believes bar employees duped him by adding additional zeros to his tab and then pocketing a big tip.
This is why we tend to LEARN the culture of the country we may soon be visiting...
I don't know if you've noticed the recent ad campaign for Adam Sandler's "Eight Crazy Nights," hitting DVD shelves soon...
For those of you who never saw it: It featured a cartoon version of Sandler, who is Jewish in reality, and told the story of a Jewish boy and his crazy quest during the Hanukkah season.
So now they're airing commericals for the DVD...
... and in the background, they happen to be playing Blink 182's "Christmas Song."
If that's not bad enough, they segue into the song at its chorus:
"It's Christmas time again....."
--
"Whoops."
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
Slightly paraphrased:
NY Illusionist Criss Angel calls David Blaine a P*ssy
We just call him a dumbass -- but same difference.
According to a Page Six story in the New York Post back in November 2002, Blaine, "weary of the lesser-known Angel's constant taunts," told WPLJ radio that he thought he and Angel "should seal themselves in a 'bubble' and see who lasts the longest without food or water."
Well, Blaine did just that, lasting for the aforementioned 44 days, suspended over the River Thames. Angel remains unimpressed.
For what it's worth, Blaine didn't say "neener-neener Criss Angel" or anything else like it when he was released from the box. He's currently off the media radar while recovering from his ordeal.
Let's have the two fight to prove their worth...
...then maybe they'll both "disappear."
Rock duo in school of mock:
A comic-rock duo featuring actor Jack Black, Tenacious D has earned a hard-core following of fans ravenous for their anthems invoking the themes and lingo of heavy metal.
Yesterday, Black and partner Kyle Gass pledged a gesture as grand as their music, saying they would starve themselves while dangling above Times Square for 45 days - or until their new DVD sold 1 million copies."
MTV's "Total Request Live" broadcast Black and Gass being hoisted above Times Square at Broadway and 45th St., entering a glass-like box with nothing but a guitar and a bucket.
The portly pop stars wore skintight, silver superhero costumes emblazoned with the letter D.
Their stunt lampooned magician David Blaine's attempt to survive without food while suspended in a glass box above the Thames River in London. Blaine lasted 44 days.
But when put to the test, the duo soon started pounding the glass and yelling, "Let me down!" They were brought down during a commercial break.
...and that's why we love 'em.
No Charges After Students Engage In Sex Act In Middle School
DALLAS -- Two students at a Dallas middle school won't face charges for engaging in a sex act during a science class recently.
Police tell the Fort Worth Star-Telegram that the October 28th act between the 12-year-old girl and 14-year-old boy at Robert T. Hill Middle School was consensual. They also say the children's parents have asked that no charges be filed.
Dallas school district officials say the two engaged in oral sex in the back of the classroom while the teacher was in a parent-teacher conference. An adult security monitor had been left in charge of the classroom, but the act went unreported until the teacher returned the next day.
[Sigh of sadness]
But wait - who in the hell wants to copy the "digital programs" when they all suck anyway?
Networks
look to sweeps to lure back coveted demographic
So far this fall, there have been almost no new hit shows, with one of the most highly anticipated, NBC's "Coupling," given the ax yesterday. And audience levels have dropped among adults under 35, particularly men (except for those watching the baseball playoffs).
PCWorld.com - FCC Endorses Built-In Copy Controls
WASHINGTON -- To the dismay of consumer advocates, the Federal Communications Commission has voted to mandate technology that prevents users from sharing copy-protected digital broadcasts.
Tuesday's vote orders makers of hardware that can receive digital television signals to build in recognition of broadcast "flags" that copy-protect content. When the flag-compliant device, such as a PC or DVD recorder, detects content containing a broadcast flag, it prevents its "indiscriminate" transmission over the Internet.
Sounds pretty complicated coming from the same government that mistook toy guys for terrorist weapons.
...weapons we still haven't found.
A small victory for consumers, say consumer groups, is that the FCC rule does allow fair use of copyrighted content. For instance, consumers can legally transmit copies of videos between home networks and their home and workplace offices, for up to five recipients.
Oh - wow, now that's good! Now I can breathe a sigh of relief...
Although it's permitted, it's not clear how the technology of such a transmission will work.
Umhm...
Sun becoming extremely pissed off: Shoots 10th Major Flare Tuesday, Possibly Strongest Yet:
The 10th major flare in two weeks leapt from the Sun Tuesday, adding one more colossal eruption to a list that has already made history. This one could be the strongest yet.
President Bush: "We're sending troops as we speak..."
Basketball Player Admits Stealing Snacks:
TUCSON, Ariz. - Arizona basketball player Isaiah Fox issued a public apology on Monday after admitting he stole $2.58 worth of snack food from a university student store last week.
'I'm very sorry for the embarrassment this has cost my team and coaching staff, the fans and the University of Arizona,' the junior forward said in a statement released by the school. 'It's a humbling experience that was my own doing, something that won't happen again.'
Granted, he was speaking of his playing skills, not the theft incident.
Fort Wayne plant goes to work on GM's first hybrid
General Motors Corp.'s first hybrid vehicle isn't anything like the Toyota Prius or hybrid version of the Honda Civic.
It's a truck. A full-sized pickup. And it's being built at the Fort Wayne Assembly Plant.
Wow - someone actually doing SOMETHING for the economy in Fort Wayne...
Who woulda thought -- right Lincoln?
Monday, November 03, 2003
'Taking Two' Talk Of Town
A Rio Rancho teen was slapped with an in-school suspension for taking both sodas that came out of a vending machine, when he had only paid for one.
On Monday, Rio Rancho student Mason Kisner, 12, said he bought a can of pop at a school vending machine, and instead of getting one can, he received two.
Kisner said he spread the word, and other students tried to get in on the deal. A teacher who saw Kisner getting the two sodas on Monday told him not to do it again. But Kisner said the teacher saw him get another two sodas for the price of one on Tuesday.
The boy said the teacher called him a thief and accused him of trying to teach other students how to steal. He was written up, given a two-day in-school suspension and the incident will appear on his permanent school record.
Wait - it gets better...
Rio Rancho Public Schools issued a written statement: "On Monday a teacher observed Mason manipulating the soft drink machine at the school. The teacher advised Mason that getting two sodas for the price of one is the equivalent to stealing. When the teacher observed Mason doing the same thing again on Tuesday, she wrote him up."
However, according to Pepsi Cola, which distributes the machines, a problem like this one with a vending machine is usually a programming error. A company representative said the student could not have manipulated the machine from the outside.
...adding, "so that teacher is, frankly, a dumbass."
Earlier reports pointed to the boy stealing the soft drink can after his new $20 bill was spit back out a record 14 times.
Another reason not to play with the faucet handles at the plant...
Mesa flooded with grievances:
A group of northeast Mesa residents is asking the city for financial relief after enduring overflowing toilets, 'singing' water pipes and flooded homes when a valve in the Mesa waterworks broke last month.
The episode cranked up water pressure in the Thunder Mountain Estates neighborhood near Hawes and McDowell roads, and in one case, pressure tripled to 158 pounds per square inch, the same level as a working fire hose.
Although it caused thousands of dollars in damage to area homeowners, local children were satisfied with a $8.99 garden hose that could, "Blow the sh*t out of neighbor-boy Timmy..."
FCC Wants to Fine AT&T Over 'Do Not Call'
WASHINGTON (AP) -- AT&T faces a $780,000 fine for reaching out and touching consumers who had asked to be left alone, federal regulators said Monday.
The Federal Communications Commission said it was the first major penalty for violating do-not-call rules for telemarketers.
The FCC said AT&T made 78 phone calls to 29 consumers who had asked the company to leave them alone. The proposed fine is $10,000 per call.
AT&T public relations refused to comment on the situation, instead asking, "Are you happy with your current long distance service?"
From the "One Hell of a Way to Make Yourself Look Like a Whore" Department:
Kissimmee teen suspended for condom-covered shirt:
KISSIMMEE · An Osceola High student was suspended from school on Friday for wearing a T-shirt covered in condoms.
Lanessa Riobe, 16, said she got the idea for her garb after watching MTV commercials promoting safe sex.
I repeat: MTV is the root of all evil.
Naked man rams pickup into concrete building - newarkadvocate.com:
PATASKALA -- Investigators are trying to determine what led a naked 25-year-old West Virginia man to drive across the interstate Saturday night and crash a pickup truck into a concrete structure along National Road.
Witnesses say the man was completely naked, appeared to be hallucinating and fought with those trying to rescue him from the wreckage.
"He was just all over him. He was stark naked and screaming about the light, screaming 'I'm dead, I'm dead,'" Brooks Jr. said.
Damn, I hate it when I have those dreams, too...
©2003-2007 David Studinski/Bewildered Society, unless otherwise noted.