Friday, October 10, 2003
Suspected genital thief beaten to death in Gambia
BANJUL, Gambia (Reuters) -- A 28-year-old man accused of stealing a man's penis through sorcery was beaten to death in the West African country of Gambia on Thursday, police said.
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Reports of penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, with purported victims claiming that alleged sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear in order to extort cash in the promise of a cure.
The police spokesman said many men in Serekunda were now afraid to shake hands, and he urged people not to believe reports of "vanishing" genitals. Belief in sorcery is widespread in West Africa.
Seven alleged penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs in Ghana in 1997.
The penis snatcher... was... beaten?
Woman nabbed after run at Air Force One
An apparently deranged woman who claimed to be ``radioactive'' barreled her car through a secure tarmac gate at Manchester Airport yesterday - coming within 800 feet of Air Force One, just minutes before President Bush was slated to board after wrapping up a New Hampshire trip.
``She looked dazed, she didn't look right,'' said witness Frank Conery, a Bedford, N.H., resident who works across the street at MSC Industrial Supplies. ``We couldn't believe they didn't shoot her.''
Oh -- no, this isn't a problem at all...
School Dislikes Parent's Hair Coloring
EL DORADO, Ark. - An El Dorado High School parent's choice of hair gel could get him barred from football games.
Benny Murry wore purple and white gel in his hair to last weekend's Wildcat game, only to be told that school officials prefer the colors on team jerseys — not fans' heads.
Murry was told his display of school spirit was "excessive and extreme" and any encore appearances would result in him being barred from games.
Derrill Smith, athletic director for El Dorado Schools, issued the warning. He said that, according to district policy, "students or spectators who wear extreme or unusual clothing to the game or who paint their faces or bodies will not be allowed in the game," and lists examples as "togas, bandanas, cowboy hats, gang colors, wigs, costumes."
The policy also reads, "Students or spectators who dress in an unusual manner or paint their faces or bodies distract from the game and the official spirit groups. In many cases, students or spectators in special dress and painted faces or bodies act more 'rowdy' than they would otherwise. The basic philosophy behind this prohibition is the show is on the court or field and not in the stands."
QUICK: KILL THE MASCOT!
Only the southerners.... only the southerners...
Princeton Student Sued Over Paper on CD Copying:
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Three days after a Princeton graduate student posted a paper on his Web site detailing how to defeat the copy-protection software on a new music CD by pressing a single computer key, the maker of the software said on Thursday it would sue him.
In a statement, SunnComm Technologies Inc. said it would sue Alex Halderman over the paper, which said SunnComm's MediaMax CD-3 software could be blocked by holding down the 'Shift' key on a computer keyboard as a CD using the software was inserted into a disc drive.
On a cheezy note, let's all hope the courts give this one the "END" key.
McD franchisee in Colo. routing orders through call center
A McDonald's restaurant operator in Colorado is funneling customers' orders through a telephone call center to improve service speed and accuracy.
Here's how it works: Customers at six McDonald's restaurants in Colorado Springs, Colo., call in their orders on telephones sitting on each table.
The employees at the call center electronically relay the orders, as well as orders made at the drive-through, to the appropriate restaurant's kitchen. The orders appear on a screen in the kitchen, and identify the table or car where the order originated.
Great - a sit-down McD's.... Now all we need is sit-down food FROM McD's...
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
Vivendi-GE Sign to Create NBC Universal
PARIS (Reuters) - French media firm Vivendi Universal and U.S. conglomerate General Electric said on Wednesday they had signed a final deal to combine GE's NBC television unit with Vivendi's Universal Studios and cable channels, creating a $43 billion entertainment powerhouse.
The new company, to be called NBC Universal, will compete with entertainment giants such as Walt Disney Co. and Viacom Inc..
Again, we're just bouncing off the wall with originals names here.
VICTORY FOR OUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH!
WorldNetDaily: FCC approves Bono's F-word on TV:
The Federal Communications Commission ruled U2 singer Bono did not violate decency rules when he uttered the F-word on a television program, because he used it as an adjective.
Fucking awesome!
(Who knew that the FCC understood the rules of English?)
©2003-2007 David Studinski/Bewildered Society, unless otherwise noted.