Saturday, September 27, 2003

 

U.S. Issues Recall for Segway Scooters

WASHINGTON - The maker of the Segway Human Transporter has agreed to recall the motorized scooters because riders have been injured falling off when its batteries are low.

The Consumer Product Safety Commission announced the recall Friday, saying that three people had been injured. One suffered a head wound and needed stitches.

The recall involves about 6,000 of the single-rider, two-wheeled scooters that can travel up to 12 mph. The scooter uses gyroscopes to keep it upright, making it less likely to fall or be knocked over.


...unless, of course, the battery is dead.




 

Truck Flips On I-4, Beer Spills Everywhere

ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. -- The westbound onramp to I-4 from the Beeline has reopened this afternoon after a semi overturned and spilled its load. It happened at 4:30 this morning on the Beeline.

The top of the trailer was ripped off in the crash and hundreds of cases of beer spilled onto the road.

The truck was carrying about 1,800 cases of beer, weight about 46,000 pounds.


More proof that alcohol and driving don't mix.




 

Legislature considering school book weight limits

BOSTON -- A Sharon lawmaker has proposed limiting the weight of books used in public schools amid concerns about the health risks of overloaded backpacks.

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State Rep. Louis Kafka's bill received its first reading on Thursday before the Legislature's joint committee on education.

"I lifted some of the backpacks and was quite taken by the weight of the books that the students had to carry," he told The Boston Globe.


And you're telling me... It's about time someone in government does something brilliant for the children, errr, victims, of education.






Friday, September 26, 2003

 

Texas University Shuts Down Bake Sale

DALLAS -- Southern Methodist University shut down a bake sale Wednesday in which cookies were offered for sale at different prices, depending on the buyer's race or gender.

A sign said white males had to pay $1 for a cookie. The price was 75 cents for white women, 50 cents for Hispanics and 25 cents for blacks.

Matt Houston, a 19-year-old sophomore, called the group's price list offensive.

"My reaction was disgust because of the ignorance of some SMU students," said Houston, who is black. "They were arguing that affirmative action was solely based on race. It's not based on race. It's based on bringing a diverse community to a certain organization."


And he got the cheapest cookie...






Wednesday, September 24, 2003

 

From the "Yeah - Take that, bitches" Department:
Maker of File-Sharing Software Files Copyright Lawsuit Against Music, Movie Companies - from Tampa Bay Online

LOS ANGELES (AP) - Makers of the most popular online file-sharing network are suing entertainment companies for copyright infringement, alleging the companies used unauthorized versions of its software to snoop on users in their efforts to battle piracy.
Sharman Networks, the company behind the Kazaa file-sharing software, filed a federal lawsuit Monday, accusing the movie studios and the Recording Industry of America of using "Kazaa Lite," a replica of its software without advertising, to get onto the network. Sharman claims its copyright was violated because Kazaa Lite is an unauthorized version of its free software.

Once on the network, the companies offered bogus versions of copyright music and movies and then sent online messages to users warning them they were breaking the law. Sharman claims those moves violated terms for using its network.

The RIAA, which has battled the widespread sharing of music, called Sharman's "newfound admiration for the importance of copyright law" ironic and "self-serving."


Odd - I find the RIAA's "statement" rather "arrogant and hypocritical."




 

Runaway monkey still at large:

GLENVILLE, N.Y., Sept. 23 - Police in Glenville have stopped searching for a missing monkey named Mickey. The black and white capuchin monkey's owner, Mary Malewicz, says she hasn't given up. The monkey ran into a wooded area on Sunday.

Alternate Headline: 'Police outsmarted by their primitive counterparts'




 

Two Boys Shot at Minnesota High School

COLD SPRING, Minn. (AP) - Two students were shot Wednesday at a central Minnesota high school and another student was in custody, authorities said.

The injured Rocori High School students, both boys, were taken to St. Cloud Hospital, school board member Tom Schroeder said.

Schroeder confirmed the shootings and the apprehension of a suspect but said he had no information on the identities, or on the extent of the students' injuries.

Stearns County Sheriff John Sanner said the suspect is a freshman and that the wounded boys are a freshman and a senior.


Just when we thought everything was settling down - this dumbass has to come in and f*ck sh*t up.

Here's my call: If the victims die, so does he.




 

Well you heard it here first:

Tom Green's time spent in Muncie will have nothing to do with MTV.

MTV Pulls Plug on Tom Green's Talk Show:

NEW YORK - Tom Green has his nights free again. MTV has pulled the plug on the former gross-out king's late-night talk show.
The show was supposed to return with original episodes on Monday, but production was stopped.


BULLSHIT!




 

Toxic flame retardant found in U.S. breast milk

Several American mothers nursing their infants had high levels of potentially toxic flame retardant chemicals in their breastmilk, a U.S. environmental group said on Tuesday.

Boy, just when men thought home improvement had hit its peak.






Tuesday, September 23, 2003

 

Leno Hosts the Losers: California Fringe Hopefuls:

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Weeks after helping Arnold Schwarzenegger launch his gubernatorial bid, late night TV host Jay Leno on Monday made good on his pledge to give equal time to California's lesser known recall candidates, turning their quest for attention into a theater of the absurd.

One candidate, businessman William Tsangares, got so carried away that he began shouting 'Equal Time,' 'Equal Time' and threw money into the audience before taping was stopped and security men led him out. Another candidate, porn star Mary Carey, made an obscene gesture to the camera.


I kid you not: As Leno was panning the group for "victims" of his punchlines, he referred to Carey as "The one ballot on election day that will have already been punched."






Monday, September 22, 2003

 

New York City - Statue of Liberty Threat Triggers Security Boost

A threat to attack the Statue of Liberty prompted city police to tighten security near the monument yesterday with increased air and sea patrols.

Federal authorities alerted city police to the threat, saying a source inside the United States had warned of an attack on Sunday, officials said.

The news didn't deter a steady crowd of visitors yesterday.

"We were a little bit surprised to take off our belts and watches and everything," said Christine Olsson, of Ronneby, Sweden, who nevertheless concluded she and her husband "feel safe."


Did they say everything?

Sources say Lady Liberty was given a thorough cleaning herself Monday, including a full anal cavity search.

Inspectors said that her health was looking "a little rusty."

She was later questioned when she refused to run her torch through the metal detectors below.




 

JetBlue released patron info

NEW YORK -- Violating its own privacy policy, JetBlue Airways gave 5 million passenger itineraries to a Defense Department contractor that used the information as part of a study seeking ways to identify "high risk" airline customers.

If I may: What is the Defense Department doing to combat "high risk" dumbass airlines?

"This was a mistake on our part," JetBlue chief executive David Neeleman said in an apologetic e-mail sent to angry customers.

Um... Yah think?

He followed: "We also have something else to admit... We gave Osama bin Laden a free lift back in May," Neeleman said to a room full of media personnel.

"But we put him in coach."




 

Breaking News: Michael Jackson said to be moving to Norway. More details as they become available.

[See below]




 

Norway Nettavisen: News in English

According to the district attorney in Troms and Finnmark, your bottom is public property. He has not intention to appeal the acquittal of a chef who pinched the behinds of two 14-year-old girls while they were working in his kitchen.

The 37-year-old chef from Troms was this summer acquitted for sexual harassment against minors and indecent behavior towards two 14-year-old girls. The court claimed there was no reason to punish the man who repeatedly touched the girls’ breasts and behinds while they were working in his kitchen during a school project.

"Touching or stroking the breasts without touching the nipple and touching the pelvis near the pubic hairs of the aggrieved party can not be regarded as an act of obscenity", the sentence reads.


But when you get the nipple - you got problems.




 

CORRECTION (washingtonpost.com)

CORRECTION

Monday, September 22, 2003; Page A02

A Sept. 21 item in the Metro in Brief column about a woman fatally shot in Prince George's County and a child who was wounded incorrectly reported the woman's age, the child's sex, the child's location at the time of the shooting, and the street on which the shooting occurred. A correct account of the incident appears in today's Metro in Brief column.


"Um, yah... We just really f*cked up."




 

Putting a lid on broadband use:

Earlier this month, a Philadelphia Comcast broadband subscriber got a letter from his service provider, telling him he'd been using the Internet too much.

Keith, who asked to keep his full name private, said he'd subscribed to the service for four years and never had a complaint before. Now he was being labeled a network 'abuser.'

Worse, he said, Comcast refused to tell him how much downloading was allowed under his contract. A customer service representative had told him there was no specific cap, he said, adding that he might avoid being suspended if he cut his bandwidth usage in half. But even then, the lack of a hard number gave Keith no guarantee.


In related news, AOL Time-Warner has asked its magazine readers to stop reading all of the articles in TIME magazine, because of the fact that it may be stressing out the editors and writers.






Sunday, September 21, 2003

 

A Saturday without a Huskers game?

Cornhusker fans commonly skip weddings, meetings, and other business-related meetings for a football game.

Something tells me that these guys are going to be huskin' more than corn if they're skipping their own weddings...




 

Bus Rollover Closes Part Of I-94

SOUTH HOLLAND, Ill. -- The two right lanes of southbound Interstate 94 in South Holland closed Saturday morning after a bus rollover.

According to police, the passengers on the bus from Hyles-Anderson College -- a baptist school in Hammond, Ind. -- were singing and swaying on board the bus. Their swaying caused the bus to sway and tip over.


The FAA has now banned the passengers of the bus from boarding any commerical airliner.






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