Friday, September 05, 2003
Disneyland no longer the happiest place on earth
Official: Disneyland's Big Thunder Mountain Railroad derails, injuring 11. [Headline News reporting one man dead, 10 injured.]
Sad irony, but Big Thunder Mt. simulates a runaway train. It is one of Disney's most popular and traditional rides.
CNN.com - Asteroid update: End of world on hold
[Props to CNN for the Headline]
A newly discovered asteroid has zero chance of colliding with Earth in 11 years, although preliminary data had suggested such a doomsday scenario was possible, astronomers said this week.
Remember, astronomers don't let astronomers gaze drunk.
New data allowed a more refined projection of the orbit of the space rock, dubbed 2003 QQ47 -- ruling out more than a dozen possible strike dates, according to the Near Earth Objects Information Center.
As for the other 299,400,000,000 chances....
Wait a second?
There's a "Near Earth Objects Information Center?"
McDonald's Corporate Press Release 09/02/2003: McDonald's® Unveils “i’m lovin’ it™” Worldwide Brand Campaign
“i’m lovin’ it™" is the centerpiece of a new marketing strategy that will connect McDonald’s with customers in highly relevant, culturally significant ways around the world. Key to this campaign are five new cutting-edge, high-energy television commercials that reflect the lifestyles and attitudes of today’s customers and culture. Several of the English language spots feature vocals by 2003 Triple MTV Video Music Award Winner, Justin Timberlake. The commercials will air first in Germany beginning today and roll out worldwide throughout this month. The U.S. launch is scheduled for September 29.
But wait, there's more....
McD's is set to begin opening McCafe's all across the country within the next few years, using existing stores for space. CNN Headline News reports that McD's just "wants a taste of the Starbucks action..."
McDonald's: The Wal-Mart of the Food Service Industry.
Actor Johnny Depp Disavows Anti-American Quotes :
The magazine quoted the actor as saying 'America is ... like a dumb puppy that has big teeth that can bite and hurt you, aggressive.' He was further quoted as saying he wanted his children to 'see America as ... a broken toy' that they should explore, get the feel of, then 'get out.'
Umm... I mean...
'What I was saying was that, compared to Europe, America is a very young country and we are still growing as a nation,' he said. 'My deepest apologies to those who were offended, affected, or hurt by this insanely twisted deformation of my words and intent.'
Woof! Woof!
"What's that, girl?"
Woof! Woof Woof!
"There's trouble?"
Woof!
"Where, girl?"
Woof!
"Hollywood? Well... What is it?"
"What? An actor's career is f*cked?"
Woof!
"Good girl..."
The Daily Californian: Sex on Tuesday: Slip Between the Cheeks
I'm not going to elaborate or quote anything from this article, but I will warn you of its horribly graphic nature in dealing with a certain form of sexual intercourse. (If you want to call it that.)
The beauty of college papers...
Music industry to unveil amnesty offer:
The RIAA's offer would require Internet users to complete a notarized amnesty form that includes promises to delete any illegally downloaded music and not participate in illegal file-trading in the future. In exchange, the RIAA would agree not to file a potentially expensive infringement lawsuit.
Ooooo... Sounds like a deal to me!
This as opposed to... keeping your mouth shut and not getting found.
'I'll be curious to see how many opt for this,' said Fred von Lohmann, a lawyer for the San Francisco-based Electronic Frontier Foundation, who has criticized the RIAA's use of copyright subpoenas. 'It will be an interesting measure of how much fear the recording industry has managed to inject into the American public.'
Agreed.
RIAA: Blow me.
Teen Allegedly Sets Cat On Fire To Get Rid Of Odor
STAFFORD, N.J. -- A teenager who set a cat on fire to reportedly remove a smell has been charged with animal cruelty, according to a report.
...Melchionne said the teen rubbed gasoline on the cat and then ignited it, WNBC-TV reported. The cat -- which sustained serious burns and other wounds -- was able to escape and returned to its Stafford home several days later, but it could not be saved and was euthanized.
I'm a fan of equal punishment.. you?
Vote below
Thursday, September 04, 2003
Schwarzenegger egged as he opts for speech instead of debate
A thrown egg splattered on the back of his left shoulder as he waded through the crowd at California State University, Long Beach. An aide tried to wipe it off, but he simply peeled off his coat and went ahead with his speech.
...forgetting, of course, that life is not a movie set, and that yelling "wardrobe" will fail to yield results in the middle of CSU.
Beloit College Releases the Mindset List for the Class of 2007
For those of us just entering college this fall, we've now been dated. Here are some constants since we've been around, according to us.
“Ctrl + Alt + Del” is as basic as “ABC.”
An automatic is a weapon, not a transmission.
Stores have always had scanners at the checkout.
But to our benefit, we now recognize that...
...it’s all about the “bling, bling.
Wednesday, September 03, 2003
Parents Take Web Access From Naughty Kids:
In a UCLA survey of U.S. households with children, 37 percent reported last year that they take away their kids' Internet privileges when they misbehave, up from 31 percent two years earlier.
Nine-year-old Megan Beatty promised to clean her room, but her mom checked and still 'couldn't see the floor.'
So Megan lost her Internet privileges for a day in July - no gaming on Neopets, no chatting with a distant pen pal online.
Well, boo-f*cking-hoo!
When I was nine I didn't even know what in the hell "AOL" was.
We didn't have "high speed" connections - we traveled at 56kps, both ways! And when we wanted to get on, we had to start the program, dial, and wait 15 trys before it ever connected. If the phone rang - we got knocked offline, and we had to sign back on -- at least another 15 times!
Back then, "IM" was just some lame ass excuse for southern folk to spell "I am." Instant Messages were going down to your neighbors door, hollaring "Hey - what's up," and then blankly staring at each other with nothing more to say for ten minutes.
These "Cyber-kids' don't know how good they have it.
Student claims moving violation: College kid says she was locked in van:
A beef with movers over the price to cart the 22-year-old's stuff from a Beacon Hill apartment to one on Park Drive in the Fenway erupted into a screaming match, and before it was over, O'Neill was locked in the moving van with workers threatening to take off with her in it.
The lesson here: Don't get yourself carried away when protesting..
[Hah...Hah...]
Tuesday, September 02, 2003
Scientists track rubber toys
Back in 1992, a violent storm tossed 20 containers of rubber duckies off the back of a cargo ship halfway between China and Seattle, and they were quickly presumed lost at sea. Instead, it appears the castaways embarked on an epic 11-year swim across three oceans and half the globe. And now their voyage may have brought them to the East Coast.
All 29,000 of them. (I sh*t you not.)
But that's not what gets me:
Every time a new duck is found, the two scientists plug fresh data into the Ocean Surface Current Simulator that Ingraham has been working on for 20 years at NOAA-Fisheries in Seattle. Though primarily used for tracking the drift of fish eggs to nursery grounds in the north Pacific, the program has been modified to predict where the ducks might end up next.
The model accurately forecast duck landings along the Alaskan coast not long after the spill and again three years later, in Washington state, after the ducks traveled around the Pacific “gyre,” a huge circular current that Ebbesmeyer said acts “like a toilet that never flushes.”
Proof once again that rubber duckies are invincible to toliets.
GPS device thief caught by GPS
A 40-year-old man was arrested Wednesday and charged with stealing a computerized tracking device that uses a global positioning system to keep track of jail prisoners on home detention.
And who says technology can't kick one's own ass?
Squirrel could be tried for arson
A magnificent 150-year-old farmhouse on Spruce Street suffered heavy damage on Friday, August 22 when a four-alarm fire -- possibly caused by a squirrel carting a lit cigarette into the attic -- consumed much of the structure's third floor.
In related news: California Govenor recall candidate Gary Coleman has vowed to "curb rodent tobacco use by 25%," if he's elected.
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