Friday, August 15, 2003
Black Thursday 2003:
-News Update:
"John, I understand you're down in one of the subways of New York -
- What does the scene look like down there?"
"I don't know, Jan -- I can't see anything."
[Props to Willo]
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
Why do bald men in hair growing commercials ask if their "barber's will remember them" following their treatment?
Man warned over cone sex:
A man who simulated sex with a traffic cone in an Edinburgh street has escaped with a warning after appearing in court.
Ross Watt, 34, is a registered sex offender with previous convictions that include simulating sex with a training shoe in a public place.
Hmm.. That's a new one...
He was arrested and charged last year after he encouraged a group of teenagers to watch his interaction with the cone at the foot of the city's Calton Hill.
...he offered to give them a public show with the cone and they soon circled their cars around the fetishist, shouting "give it some" to urge him on.
They followed with the ever so casual 'Say It's Name, Bitch.'
His lawyer Andy Gilbertson had argued that his act had been like a piece of Edinburgh Fringe street theatre, but the sheriff said it amounted to a breach of the peace.
That'll hold up in court.
The performance lasted about 20 minutes before police officers arrived to see Watt, who appeared sober, replacing the cone [and added juices?] at the side of Regent Road near the Scottish Executive departments in St Andrew's House.
Damn, that's a lot of cone f*cking.
Dropped pants bare pitfalls in airport security:
Holness, 34, says an overzealous security guard ordered him to remove his pants and then fed them through an X-ray machine at a checkpoint as the humiliated passenger and scores of bystanders looked on.
''I'm standing in my underwear, looking stupid,'' said Holness, a truck driver from Miramar. ``Even when I got to Chicago, people from the flight were still looking at me like I was crazy.
He's black -- what did he have to hide?
Monday, August 11, 2003
Bewildered Society eStore
And you thought the website was big!
[Yes, this is real -- Buy now before these original designs are replaced with something different.]
New report finds that girls are overly sensitive; Guys world-wide respond "No Sh*t."
College Freshmen Suffer From 'Friendsickness'
Female first-year students have a difficult time letting go of their precollege friendships, a source of comfort and stability, as well as a link to the past," she said. "Many of the students appeared to grieve the loss of having friends who intimately knew and understood them. They spent much time and energy trying to maintain their pre-college friendships through e-mail, America Online's Instant Messenger, phone calls, visits to each other's campuses and visits home.
AOL Time Warner May Cut 'AOL' from Name :
NEW YORK (Reuters) - AOL Time Warner Inc. is considering dropping 'AOL' from its name, sources familiar with the matter said on Monday, against the backdrop of federal probes and declining finances at the media company's America Online unit.
This is the just the first of many steps for Time Warner to backtrack on what it now calls "the most stupid God-forsaken merger in all of man-f*cking kind."
Nude Sex Offender Arrested At Local High School
"He was carrying a (California Department of Corrections) box with all his possessions in it. He's walking around nude and telling us he climbed over a 14-foot fence," police Lt. Nick Barbara said.
Sometime took the John Mayer song a bit too far...
Sunday, August 10, 2003
[Read below post before this one]
Ice cream led to flight rage
A steward saw him sneaking his wine into economy and when the steward served ice cream he warned Mr Pidgeon not to take it into economy. But he was caught spoon-feeding his fiancee icecream in business class.
He told her to go back to her seat during meal service, as it was against airline policy for economy passengers to eat or drink food from other classes.
Least he wasn't breastfeeding...
Mum 'breastfeeding while driving'
AN American mother caught breastfeeding, talking on her mobile phone and taking notes while driving her car lost her court fight for vindication today.
Police fined Catherine Donkers, 29, on May 8 for juggling all those jobs and driving her Sebring convertible at 100kph along a highway near Ravenna, Ohio.
"Can you suck me now? Good."
Rock falls out of the sky
A 10-YEAR-OLD boy has narrowly missed being struck by a suspected falling meteorite outside his home.
Anthony Elliss-Galati claims he was standing in the driveway of his home 40km south of Perth last week when a dark shape came hurtling out of the sky towards him.
Anthony hid behind a car before seeing the object hit the driveway and shatter.
His father's evil plot was then foiled....[Okay, not really... But it sounded good.]
Otherwise, his mother puts the event down to divine intervention - Anthony had been fighting with his brothers that morning in the exact spot where the fragments hit the ground.
[Pause for Dramatic Music]
Gay musicians seek country success on reality tv
America’s country music scene isn’t exactly known for its gay artists, but a colorful pack of wanna-be stars pulled out their best rustic twangs and wailing guitars Thursday to try to change all that.
Well, this only confirms many of the world's suspicions...
©2003-2007 David Studinski/Bewildered Society, unless otherwise noted.