Friday, July 11, 2003
Former Pop Icon Michael Jackson compares himself to Jesus
July 11, 2003 -- 'I'M NOT being a braggadocio or anything like that - but you know you're on top when they start throwing arrows at you. Even Jesus was crucified. People who bring light into the world, from Mahatma Gandhi to Martin Luther King to Jesus Christ, even myself."
See Also: Jesus Prepares to bust open a can of whoop-ass on Gary, Indiana.
[For those of you not getting the joke, MJ was born in Gary...]
Mom Reprimands Omaha Cops Over Voice Mail
OMAHA, Neb. (AP) - Police have apologized to a woman who learned her son was killed in a traffic accident from a voice mail message an officer left on her telephone.
Howell said an Omaha police officer left her a message telling her about the accident and that her son's body was sent to a funeral home in Plattsmouth. She filed a complaint with the Omaha Police Department.
The officer did mention that the voice mail was marked as "Urgent," and included a text message to her cell phone stating: :'(
CBC News:Why we can't tickle ourselves
LONDON - British scientists may have found a reason for the "she hit me harder" playground argument. They say our brains are wired to underestimate how much force we exert on others.
The results may also explain why we can't tickle ourselves.
And we still haven't figured out exactly what the cure for AIDS is...
Thursday, July 10, 2003
Wednesday, July 09, 2003
DenverPost.com - BUSINESS:
Like it or not, airline passengers soon could be yakking on their cellphones during flights. And a Louisville company could help make that happen.
AirCell was awarded a U.S. patent Tuesday for its technology, which uses airliner-mounted radio transceivers to connect callers with any of 135 antenna sites across the nation.
Yay!
Who Could Be the next Wonka?
Tim Burton (Nightmare before Christmas) is working on doing a modern remake of the classic children's hit, "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory."
Who's rumored to have the golden ticket to fill the "Wonka" lead role?
None other than Christopher Walken...
From the "Oh...My Bad..." Department:
German house flooded with oil
BERLIN (Reuters) - A German oil delivery man who got his addresses mixed up accidentally pumped 3,000 litres (5,280 pints) of heating oil straight into a house's basement, police in the western town of Marburg say.
The mishap happened when the man attached the pump to a disused pipe at the front of the house next to the one he was supposed to deliver to.
Monday, July 07, 2003
NASA shuttle test proves the inevitable; America cries, "No Sh*t, sherlocks."
A chunk of foam insulation fired at shuttle wing parts Monday blew open a gaping 16-inch hole, yielding what one member of the Columbia investigation team said was the “smoking gun” that proves what brought down the spaceship. The crowd of about 100 watching the test gasped and cried, “Wow!” when the foam hit — the impact so violent that it popped a lens off one of the cameras recording the event.
Carson Daly charred at MTV bash
The inaugural taping of "MTV Bash, " a show dedicated to mocking a Friar's Club "Roast," brought victim Carson Daly to the sad truth of his life:
“I thought I was a nice guy, but I’ve come to realize I’m just a big douche bag,” a charred Daly said.
New TV Channel to Focus on Middle America
A new cable channel aimed at showing real American life between the East and West coasts is planned for launch next year, its top executive said.
Yay!
Market research conducted for the venture shows that people aren't satisfied with current TV, Gorshein said.
...no sh*t.
America Channel expects to be available to between 3 million and 6 million cable subscribers at launch and eventually reach more than 50 million homes. By comparison, channels such as CNN, A&E and Fox News Channel each reach 80 million or more U.S. households.
In other words, no one is really expected to care.
But hey - it's still a great idea... I mean, a Midwest network for Midwest residents, by Midwest Residents....
The Orlando, Fla.-based channel is still in discussion with cable operators, Gorshein said.
...damnit.
For One Actor, No More Chicken Parts
Actor Jason Alexander became famous as the amoral, self-centered character George Costanza of the "Seinfeld" show. But now he's in the middle of a battle between animal rights activists and the makers of Kentucky Fried Chicken over whether or not he lost his job as the ubiquitous KFC pitchman because of a soft spot in his heart for, well, chickens.
Bastard PETA people at it again...
"George is gettin' upset!"
©2003-2007 David Studinski/Bewildered Society, unless otherwise noted.