Saturday, May 03, 2003
Student Seeks to Be Sole Valedictorian
MOORESTOWN, N.J. - Blair Hornstine's latest report card had four A-plus grades in five courses. She scored a 1570 out of 1600 on the SAT and is deciding whether to attend Harvard, Stanford, Duke, Princeton or Cornell — all of which have accepted her.
But despite her best-in-her-class grades, her school district wants to name her co-valedictorian with two other students.
Poor girl...That is kind mean - with all that hard work put in...
She has also filed a notice saying she plans to sue the school district in state court claiming the dispute has humiliated her. She said she would be asking for $200,000 in compensatory damages and $2.5 million in punitive damages.
Crack must be expensive in NJ... Isn't this a wee bit too much to ask for not getting a damn title?
Her school district looks at the disagreement another way: Because of an immune deficiency, Hornstine is classified as a disabled student and has taken a class load that doesn't include physical education and involves her spending part of her school day studying at home.
...Little bitch!
Georgia high school students plan white-only prom
BUTLER, Georgia (AP) -- Gerica McCrary said she cried when she heard about the decision to hold a separate white-only prom only a year after she helped bring black and white students together in her rural high school's first integrated prom.
Again -- terrorists have another reason....
Sorkin writes himself out of 'Wing'
Prolific writer Aaron Sorkin, who created The West Wing, is stepping down from the Emmy-winning drama as its fourth season ends this month. Director Thomas Schlamme, who provided Wing's visual style, also will depart.
Just when I start liking shows....they go downhill.
Bush tops deck of cards playing on nuclear arms
In a play on the deck of cards distributed to U.S. troops in Iraq, Greenpeace has issued its own variation based on nuclear weapons — with President Bush replacing Saddam Hussein as the ace of spades. “It’s an exact copy (of the U.S. deck) in terms of the design and layout,” said William Peden, spokesman for the disarmament campaign at Greenpeace.
Looks like someone needs to fold...
"It's a beautiful day in the universe..."
Asteroid named after Mister Rogers
Mister Rogers now has an asteroid named in his honor. “Misterrogers,” formerly known as No. 26858, honors Fred Rogers, creator and host of public television’s “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.” Rogers died Feb. 27 at age 74.
Friday, May 02, 2003
Yes bank says 'no, you can't keep the cash'
Customers of an ANZ automatic teller machine in Auckland suburb Newmarket, thought they had hit the jackpot when they were given $50 notes instead of $20 notes.
Damn technology....
Ms Zonius said ATMs had recently been changed to dispense both $50 and $20 notes and someone had put the $50s in the $20 slot.
Damn humans...
Scottsdale schools sued over false Web site information
Scottsdale Unified School District is being sued for falsely posting on a high school alumni Web site that a 1986 graduate was HIV positive, had cancer and suffered a miscarriage, according to a lawsuit filed with the Maricopa County Superior Court.
The lawsuit said the district was negligent in publishing the defamatory biographical information, which was submitted by email to the Chaparral High School alumni Web site last year.
The district soon became aware of the false information after a second email appeared classifying the school's 1986 football team as "all heterosexuals."
Thursday, May 01, 2003
h2uh-oh!
11 Fraternity Brothers Charged In Student Death
According to police, fraternity members allegedly pushed Walter Dean Jennings to drink so much water that he died.
Police said the members of the Psi Epsilon Chi fraternity -- which was not authorized by the university -- forced Jennings to drink pitcher after pitcher of water through a funnel until he threw up. Police said they did that to Jennings 10 days in a row.
Look! It's a News-Sentinel Off the Cuff article from PrepSports!
Server dude
Luers senior volleyball player Mitchel Hazelett's California dreamin' has become a reality.
Oh yah -- I remember: he is a former Summit student, and opted for Luers over Homestead freshman year....
[reporter]: You don't wear spandex, but do you have any quirks?
MH: I collect a lot of shoes.
RH: Athletic shoes?
MH: Yeah, I've got about 28 pairs in my room right now. and I don't know how many everywhere else, probably about 35 all together.
RH: And your mom's OK with all these shoes all over the place?
MH: She buys 'em, so I don't care. But, of course, I really need them. I've got a little bit of everything. Eight pairs of basketball shoes. Twelve pairs of running shoes. A couple of pairs of volleyball shoes, a couple of pairs of tennis shoes. And some to wear for fun. And they have to be Nike. I won't wear anything else but Nike.
Once a Southwest Allen student, always a Southwest Allen Student...
Best of luck to him in Cali.
Wednesday, April 30, 2003
U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld gets mugged by anxious reporters!
Creepy, but cool!
While you're there, look to the left navigation panel for the oddly named "Sept. 11 Attacks and Terrorism Slideshow."
Doesn't that sound just a little "too fun" for the subject matter?
Va. Has Nation's Toughest Anti-Spam Law
It's the best thing to come out of Virginia other than AOL.... okay - well that's not true:
AOL Sucks.
Internet mavens who clog computers with massive volumes of unsolicited e-mail pitches now risk landing in prison and losing their riches under a tough Virginia law signed Tuesday.
Keep in mind, though, that millions of pieces of email travel through the state, where AOL and MCI are based out of. With their servers being located there -- it could be easier for ISP's to sue SPAMmers.
Yay!
Alabama Votes Against Legalizing Sex Toys
MONTGOMERY, Ala. - Sex toys are still against the law in Alabama, at least as far as the Alabama Legislature is concerned.
The Alabama House voted against a bill Tuesday that would have removed a ban on sexual devices, such as vibrators, from the state's obscenity law. The ban on sexual devices was added at the last minute when the obscenity law passed the Legislature in 1998.
Is this really what we need to have a state government arguing over right now?
...or any time for that matter?
[Dave:] Students manage to get school, entire country laughing at them [pictures included]
RED WING, Minn. - Creating prom outfits from duct tape wasn't enough for one Minnesota teenaged couple. They decided to make 16th-century costumes out of the handyman's best friend.
Really - what in the holy hell drives a person to stoop this low?
Oh - that's right: five grand.
Live worms from Columbia experiments found in wreckage
"It's pretty astonishing to get the possibility of data after all that has happened," [Dr. Fred Sack at Ohio State University] said. "We never expected it. We expected a molten mass."
Oh - well isn't that just encouraging!
From the "well - the graphics department loved the idea" department...
Coke promotion has swastika-bearing robot [includes picture]
HONG KONG - Soft drink giant Coca-Cola said Wednesday it has pulled a robot figurine adorned with what appear to be swastikas from a Hong Kong promotion following criticism from a local Jewish leader.
Tuesday, April 29, 2003
"Masturbator's Diet."
Yeh - you read that right.
Another group of, well, random people are out to debate (as in mass-debate.. hah, hah) the pros and cons of self-gratification.
So masturbating has come back into vogue, so to speak. The three main reasons why it's a good thing is that it's quick, easy and good for health."
"Yes, absolutely," agrees an unnamed urologist at a university hospital. "If you consider it only from the objective of ejaculating, masturbation is far safer than sexual intercourse. There's no worry over sexually transmitted diseases, or unwanted pregnancies. The testicles play a key role in health. If you don't feel like having sex or masturbating, it could signify some sort of health problem.
"I suppose that's why high school boys are always so healthy --- they're jerking off constantly," he chuckles.
...riiiight. Nice observation, doc.
Oh - by the way - we still can't find a cure to AIDS, MD, or SARS...
Another lesson in politics:
Junction councilman apologizes for obscene slur
An obscene slur voiced by Apache Junction City Councilman Joe Durbala and captured on a police dispatch tape is making the rounds of City Hall gossip and has the councilman drafting a letter of apology.
Durbala, 51, admitted Monday that he used the two-word hostile slur that refers to women on Saturday during a golf game at the Apache Creek Golf Course after he thought his phone conversation with dispatcher Margaret Montaño had ended.
Mind you - if this would have been any other citizen, the case would have gone unnoticed...
Talk about the power of the (bad) press...
Jacksonville.com: Clearwater police arrest man who posed as Creed guitarist
Over the past few weeks, a man staying at beach hotels claiming to be Mark Tremonti, the lead guitarist of the rock band Creed, has handed out and autographed copies of publicity photos and attracted crowds of fans at beach bars.
Police said the man turned out to be a Kevin Eckenrod, a nomadic 40-year-old who has racked up more than 60 arrests in Florida over the last decade, many for scamming and swindling.
Just wait until they find out who Creed really are...
The Exponent - Purdue doesn't have enough quality women
Purdue's weekly paper proves why the school is not the nation's best in journalism.
In summary:
Sure I'm insensitive, but you're fat.
Sunday, April 27, 2003
I had to work tonight - which is unusual: I never work Sundays.
It's never fun to work directly with the "general public" when you're in a bad mood, let alone your entire staff being in a bad mood.
So, when business is just steady enough to warrant the extra staff, but slow enough that you aren't working too hard -- you get even more pissed. Naturally - when people call, and you want to go home, you don't act to friendly.
But when those callers seem to be in the lower third of the common sense bracket -- it makes things even worse.
So, as a community service effort, here are some quick lessons for callers who want to make their pizza ordering experience safe, enjoyable, and...well, cheap.
Lesson 1: Don't call a pizza place only to put them on old by saying, "Hang on - let me see what everyone wants." Ask around, and THEN call, dumbass.
Lesson 2: Don't call the person who answered the phone by their first name: they don't like it. Trying to be the pizza phone's best friend does not score you pepperoni points.
Lesson 3: Listen the first time when answerer reads you the respective business' specials. Keep in mind that after answering the phone Christ knows how many times, the answerer will tend to say common things (such as the phone greeting, specials, and varieties of food) extremely fast. This is normal; if you can't keep up, play along, and ask for a menu so you can read along at home.
Lesson 4: Don't threaten the answerer to "go somewhere else." Frankly, we don't give a shit... in fact, we go there, too.
Lesson 5: If you ask for a manager, expect to wait a while. Yes, he/she may be busy, but chances are they are just hoping you'll shut the f*ck up and drop the call.
Lesson 6: Lie about coupons. Make something up, because chances are it is in the computer anyway.
Lesson 7: Don't talk to the answerer like he/she is a mentally challenged four years old. The employee is perfectly capable of understanding digits, letters, words, and, God forbid, phrases. If they ask you to repeat it, it isn't because they can't speak English, it's because there's a 480-degree oven with a Boeing 737 engine powered exhaust system next to them. Trust me: If you had something that hot, you'd want an oversize exhaust system, too.
Lesson 8: Always remember who touches your food before you even see it. Now, not many people would stoop as low as to spit in someone's food, but the thought of it is just downright creepy, isn't it?
©2003-2007 David Studinski/Bewildered Society, unless otherwise noted.