Saturday, April 26, 2003
Tattoo case against station dismissed
DAVENPORT, Iowa (AP) - A Scott County judge has dismissed a lawsuit against a radio station after one of two men who tattooed the station's call letters across their foreheads failed to appear for court hearings.
Richard Goddard of Colona, Ill., and his stepfather, David Winkleman of Davenport, sued Cumulus Broadcasting, the parent company of 93.5 KORB, and disc jockey Ben Stone, also known as Benjamin Stomberg.
Goddard and Winkleman claimed that 93.5 KORB did not follow through on a promise to pay them $150,000 if they had a logo of the radio station permanently tattooed across their foreheads, according to the lawsuit, filed last May.
"No -- seriously dude: you have dumbass written all over your face."
From the insert your own pun here department...
Southwest fires pilots for takeoff -- of their uniforms
Southwest Airlines has fired two pilots for allegedly turning their cockpit into a clothing-optional playpen. The pilot and co-pilot -- both men -- were dismissed for allegedly taking off all or most of their clothes in the cockpit of their aircraft.
Well - when we said they were a budget airline -- we didn't mean it like that...
'Girls Gone Wild' Producer Faces 22 Criminal Charges
Girls Gone Wild producer Joe Francis is now facing 22 criminal charges, including filming underage girls involved in sexual activity.
I guess it comes with the territory...
*Yes: there's innuendo in that statement.*
Reuters | Latest Financial News / Full News Coverage
A federal court denied a request to shut down Internet song-swapping services Grokster and Morpheus on Friday, handing a stunning setback to the record labels and movie studios that have sought to curb unauthorized downloading of their works.
U.S. District Court Judge Stephen Wilson said the two services should not be shut down because they cannot control what is traded over their systems. Like a videocassette recorder, the software in question could be used for legitimate purposes as well as illicit ones, he said.
Finally a judgement with some common sense in mind.
Chalk one up for the government...
Teen arrested for posing as teacher
NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) -- A 19-year-old high school dropout was arrested and accused of posing as a substitute teacher at a Nashville school.
"Oh... so that's why he was hitting on the girl in the forth row, third from back..."
Thursday, April 24, 2003
Pyongyang admits nuclear weapons
North Korea has admitted possessing nuclear weapons and threatened to boost its arsenal during talks with U.S. and Chinese officials in Beijing, senior U.S. officials told NBC News.
Awww -- the US and the Brits start using Saddam and his government as the world's very own piñata, and look who wants into the party... how cute!
North Korea is like that kid in middle school who was never too popular with anybody, and always tried to pull really stupid sh*t to get people's attentions.. The un-cool class clown: North Korea.
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
Tuesday, April 22, 2003
Students Get Shot Glasses and Beer Mugs
Some say Gulf Shores High School is sending students the wrong message by giving them shot glasses and beer mugs for prom favors.
While some of the 300 students who attended the school prom got picture frames and flower vases engraved with the date and occasion, others got commemorative shot glasses and beer mugs.
But Gulf Shores resident Virginia Benintende, who has two grandsons attending Gulf Shores High, said the gifts endorse drinking.
"To me, it's sending a bad message that drinking is elegant. `I can't wait to use it, now that I have this glass,'" Benintende said. "I'm sure they're not going to put sweet tea in it, or Diet Coke."
Yes - and you should be sure! Who in the hell actually drinks sweet tea or Diet Coke, anyway?
Silly Grandma...
PETA asks town to change its name
HAMBURG, N.Y. (AP) A national animal rights group has offered Hamburg officials $15,000 to change the town's name to Veggieburg.
"Awww.. isn't peta sooo cute? Ummh yesyouare -- whosdacutie, yessyouare!"
See related story: New York town accepts 2.5 million dollar offer to hold first annual "BeeFest."
White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer has been receiving some cheers from the ladies, this Fox News report tells. Ari Fleischer: Sex Symbol
What's weirder: He even has a fan club.
What's twice as disturbing: he's married to a 26 year old:
But women who hold onto fantasies of being swept away by their bald-headed Prince Ari will have to keep on dreaming: Alas, Fleischer, 42, married 26-year-old Rebecca Davis in late 2002.
local6.com - Man Accused Of Robbing Bank Caught With Red Ink On Hands
A man accused of robbing a bank told police the red ink covering his hands didn't come from exploding dye packs, but from coloring Easter eggs. Richard Roy, 41, was arrested at his house Saturday, a day before Easter Sunday. He is accused of robbing a Wachovia Bank twice last week.
Well, we have to give him points for trying...
I wonder if he's related to that Glenbrook Easter Bunny helper...
The Smoking Gun: Breaking 'Creed'
You know this world is money driven when Americans (Chicagoland residents, specifically) can file a class-action lawsuit against a popular rock group for being intoxicated while singing.
See #26 on the webpage above.
Monday, April 21, 2003
Joe Millionaire goes to college
Some students at the University of Missouri are furious that a student-funded organization forked over $11,000 for a talk by “Joe Millionaire” Evan Marriott.
“The truth is, Marriott offered nothing in the way of intellectual stimulation, or entertainment, except for the occasional laugh at his own expense,” noted an editorial in The Maneater, a university student newspaper. The paper calculated that the event lost money despite its $5-$8 ticket price.
Marriott, however, apparently enjoyed his visit to the halls of higher learning. When asked his opinion of the University of Missouri, he replied, “It’s really cool because it is a college campus. There’s dorms. It has a very college campus feel.”
Coming next fall to FOX: Joe Dumbass.
Ring Ring...
The Purring Kitty program of the company Vibelet.com was released last week. This program allows to make a vibrator of certain models of Nokia cell phones, which are outfitted with vibrating alert option. A message on the company's webpage says that delicate vibration might be a very good entertainment at lonely nights.
Can You Feel Me Now? Good.
Sunday, April 20, 2003
Yahoo! News - Exotic Dance Club Recruits at High School
MASHPEE, Mass. - A club known for nude dancers tried recruiting workers at a high school job fair this week before embarrassed school officials asked its representatives to leave.
Wow - this would have been a perfect fit at Homestead...
Major League Baseball News
Rangers right fielder Carl Everett was struck in the back of his head by a cell phone thrown by a fan at Network Associates Coliseum during Saturday's game against the A's.
It's good to see that the nation's alcoholic dumbass' now have money to, um... throw away.
If you've ever listened to the NOAA weather radio on Comcast Ch. 19, you've come to grow and love the computerized macintosh voice that haunts the airwaves.
We need to go back to humans -- at least they reflect some emotion.
I tell you: there's nothing that'll get the point across to me more than hearing a fake, monotone voice say: "these storms may produce damaging winds and large hail..."
©2003-2007 David Studinski/Bewildered Society, unless otherwise noted.